Hi Jerkface bad driving a-hole

Just want to send a special HI to the person driving the big Chevy truck who went completely out of your way to flip me off yesterday. It wasn’t my fault that you were in the wrong lane and needed over right when I was passing you. I gave you time to get over before I passed you. You didn’t do it. So what right do you have to not only honk at me, but then you proceed to follow me into the Target parking lot, roll down your window, stick your full arm out the window, and keep it out  with your middle finger up while you drove in a circle? Yes I flipped you off back. And had I been alone in my car I would have followed you to wherever YOU were going to see if you’re capable of explaining your anger with words. If your talking skills are anywhere near as good as your driving skills or manners, then it would’ve been a waste of time. I forgive you for being such a rude ass. I’m sure it’s hard being suck a d*ck and it probably makes you tired. And I know I get a little grumpy when I’m tired, so that’s probably why you were physically assaulting me from 30 feet away. Flipping somebody off the way that you did is pretty much the equivalent of getting in my face and shoving me or something. And doing so wrongfully. Jerkface. If I come across your path again I will make sure and stay on your side so you can’t get over at all. Payback’s a beeyotch and so am I.

OK so I need a creative outlet because I have way too much brain energy. So I started making t-shirts. I like them. You might not and that’s ok. But I’m gonna try and start making and selling at least one shirt a month. Why not, right? Once I start making money off of them, I’m gonna do a charity tie in. I’m gonna post a pic of the current shirt and tell you that it’s $15 plus shipping and handling. So message me on FB if you want one. I am doing PayPal invoices for payment. Just FYI.

I noticed yesterday after being followed and flipped off by Mr. Bad driving jerkface in a pickup that my Kelly Kapowski t-shirts are now on clearance at the Target off of 635 and MacArthur in Irving. If you want one. It’s a real convo starter.

Is Casey Anthony pregnant? I pray to God not. I’m gonna wait for confirmation on this one before I go off on a rant. I will say this. I will definitely question God’s better judgement if she is. Should a convicted sex offender be able to make babies to abuse as they see fit? Not in my mind. So why should a baby killer be allowed to reproduce more babies to kill? Sickening. And if there was ever a reason to question faith, I firmly believe that would be it. But I won’t go off on that yet. I’m gonna wait.

Oh, and I’m officially going full steam ahead with this DJ thing. I just published our new website. It’s

Agirlandsomeguysdj.com. We also have a FB page under the same name. Minus the .com. So check us out. Hire us. Pay my bills!!!

Airplanes and Toyotas...oh my!

Today’s song is…Eminem and D12- “My Band.” You know that one? My blog, my blog, my blog, my blog, my blog, my blog, my bloooooooogggggggg… Haha. I love you, Jose Chavez.

Lots of random stuff to put into your pretty little head today. I hope you’re ready for this.

Do birds get cold? Poor little birds all out in the cold and stuff. They can’t have fat on them to keep them warm. They fly in all kinds of weather. I live in the south and it still gets chilly down here. So how do birds not get hypothermia? I don’t get it.

On an airplane I can’t help but ask…why do people sit in a window seat if they’re not gonna look out? Or put the little shade down? At least during take-off and landing. I prefer a window seat. Mostly because I’m that girl who passes out as soon as we reach like 1,000 feet and I like having the side of the plane to lean on. Napping in the middle or aisle seat isn’t gonna happen. So knowing that there are people who prefer that seat and knowing that you don’t and you can request a different seat, why do they keep the window seat? I’m just wondering…I guess I could just as easily ask to change my seat, but I fly standby, so I have to be happy with any seat on the plane as long as I’m on it. So give me a break, people!!!

Orange Starbursts are wasted on me. They’re awful! If I was Starburst, I would sell just red and pink packages. And maybe even an occasional yellow. But orange? I could send orange Starbursts to starving kids in other countries, but I don’t eat them very often because the orange ones are there. Ditch the orange, Starburst. Come on!

Oh. And one other comment about flying. I know just as well as everyone else that it’s unnecessary to have all portable electronic devices powered off and stowed away during take off and landing. I get it. I, too, would love to turn around and tell the pushy flight attendant to just shut it. So do me a favor, rule breakers. If you’re gonna keep your portable electronic devices powered on when you fly, at least HIDE IT! Please. The quicker the flight attendant does that safety demo that nobody pays attention to (admit it. You know I’m right…), the quicker we can take off and get where we’re going. And then we won’t have to be cooped up in a plane with people who deny the power of deodorant, or those who think that Subway is appropriate airplane food, or that screaming baby (I know parents try and calm them down. I do. But that doesn’t make the screaming any more bearable while it’s happening), or the armrest hog, or the person with the smokers cough who refuses to cover their mouth. You get what I’m saying. Do us all a favor and at least lock your screen while they do the final walk through. Please.

I’ve done a lot of research on what I’m about to say. If by research I mean noticing in the conditions that surround me. I now know who the worst and rudest drivers and parkers are in this world. Toyota drivers. I’m sorry. And I know you’re getting all defensive now saying “I drive a Corolla and I’ve never hit anybody or got a ticket or blah, blah, blah.” Yes. There are exceptions. However, generally speaking, the drivers who usually piss me off the most are in Toyotas. I think that Toyota should offer driving courses upon the sale of a car. And manners lessons. Don’t double park. Don’t drive the wrong way down an aisle to steal that spot. Don’t be that person who sits there blocking the aisle with your blinker on waiting for the spot occupied by the woman with 19 kids and 97 bags of groceries. Move on! Please. Anyway, that’s how I feel about that.

And lastly. Do you want to buy a St. Patricks Day t-shirt I made on my laptop? The saying is NOT original…at all. But I put it all together. I will put a pic on here and then if anybody wants to order one, get a price and see if its even possible. Maybe Toyota drivers will buy lots of shirts to make up for sucking on the road. Maybe.

That’s all for now. I have to go and see how Tierra lights up the room when she walks in.

$64??? Really???

Let me see. My blog. And the song in my head right now is Thriftshop. I’m gonna post a blog, got a lotta thoughts goin’ through my noggin…”

It’s a stretch, but I’m still out of Adderall.

So. Here goes. My lease is up on my 603 square foot, curry scented apartment. And my rent is going up $64! They said it would go up like $20, but $64? Do you know what I could do with $64? I could buy like 60 things at the Dollar Store (gotta remember tax), two tanks of gas, like 12 pay-per-view sexy time movies if I watched them, 27 or so Crayola hair extension sets from WalMart, maybe 55 songs on iTunes, 15 bags of 6 ounce pistachio packets on sale at WalMart for $3.98, 100 small Reeses Peanut Butter cups, 130 cucumbers at Sprouts…I could go on if you’d like. $64! That’s a lot of dang money. My apartment hasn’t gotten bigger, it still stinks, I don’t have roaches…THANK GOD…people still park where they’re not supposed to while I pay for parking. I’m gonna start leaving notes n the cars because it’s the same dang cars in the same dang spots. And either they are too stupid to know that the lines on the space mean Don’t park here because it’s the ramp for wheelchairs, OR they’re just too damn lazy to walk an extra 30 feet. I’m gonna make a video of the distance I walk to get to the spots I pay for versus the illegal spots I could park in so you can see why it ticks me off as much as it does. Maybe tomorrow when it’s not freezing outside.

My lesbian card was revoked this week. Sallye Wilton is a lawyer lady who said that I am no longer part of the club because I didn’t go to the Pink concert. I tried to explain to Sallye that I had committed to being the DJ at a cheer banquet that night to make money for things such as my $64/month rent increase. But apparently rich lawyer folks don’t care about my excuses. I don’t have tickets for Kelly Clarkson, either. So what’s gonna happen now that I no longer have a lesbian card to be revoked? I guess we will see.

Does Half Price Books sell the L-Word and it’s always just sold out? Or do they not offer it? I’ve looked and not found it. While I left L-Word-less, I did get some new books. The Portia Di Rossi eating disorder book, Skinny Bitch, Jillian Michaels, and a book called Nasty People that’s supposed to help me learn to deal with the invalidators in my life.

Has anyone ever heard of a snoring cat? Just wondering. 

The left side of the bottom of my nose itches. That means my time of the month is upon me. So watch out, people. A PMSing me is on the loose. Bah humbug.

The MS walk is this Saturday. Apparently I tug at ZERO heartstrings for most. I tried and I failed. At least a few people care enough to contribute and to you guys, I appreciate it.

Shower time. Have a great night. 

Don't make me beg...

I feel pretty dumb right now. All these people stalk my pages and if everyone would put in like $.50, I’d have a crap load of money raised. So, if you have a little bit of extra fundage in the bank and want to help an amazing cause, please check out my donation page and contribute. PULEEZE!!!!!

http://main.nationalmssociety.org/site/TR?px=11749384&pg=personal&fr_id=19642

I’m doing this walk because a good friend of mine’s ex-partner has MS. Together they have a little boy who is absolutely awesome. It sucks that he has to see his mom in the hospital for days at a time. He’s so polite and well rounded and fun to be around. I just want to do my part…which means I need your help…to maybe find a breakthrough in treatment.

With that being said, here’s the link one more time. Just in case you missed it before.

http://main.nationalmssociety.org/site/TR?px=11749384&pg=personal&fr_id=19642

And again. Third time is a charm.

http://main.nationalmssociety.org/site/TR?px=11749384&pg=personal&fr_id=19642

I know that there are some rich people on the Facebook. I also know that rich people don’t get rich by spending money on just whatever, but come on. Please. Here’s a pic of the kiddo I was talking about. I really want this fundraising effort to be successful because he deserves to see his mom feeling good and not in the hospital. You can make it happen. So let’s go.

So I’m DJing a banquet on Friday, so I was putting my music together tonight. There are a couple of must play songs. Macklemore “Thrift Shop” and Will.i.am and Britney “Scream & Shout.” Have you ever listened to these songs and realized how much cussin’ there is? And since the event on Friday is for kids, I needed super clean edits. So I did them myself. They have been checked and double checked and I think I’m good. Look at me going above and beyond to try and get this thing going full speed. Why I’m being a huge link whore, I will just go ahead and give you my DJ email address in case you want to hire me.

DJPsychoShanon@gmail.com

And if you accidentally spell my name the way that most do, I also have DJPsychoShannon@gmail.com. Website coming soon.

I miss my singing fish. You know the one that had the flapping tail and would sing Mambo #5? I also with I had kept my puppet Pound Puppy. And Pocket Rocker. Did anyone else have a Pocket Rocker? With the Tiffany tape to play in it? Does this make me old?

There is nothing attractive about Constantine Maroulis. And I really don’t like Joel McHale. I’ve got my TV on in the background and just saw them on it. Ick. I wish everyone could get paid for wearing skinny suits and saying unfunny stuff. He’s not good. But I’m learning in life that untalented people somehow get fired up. Why is it that the crappiest of employees never get fired? Like if Joel McHale got hired to be the face of E!, I wouldn’t be surprised. At all. I would say that he had to sleep with the right person to get there, but it wouldn’t shock me. One bit.

Hangnails hurt. I’ve googled treating them and I’ve tried what the google recommends, but they’re still there!!! I might need to start putting jalapeno juice on my fingers so I leave them alone. I have weird habits when I think. I stick my tongue out all the dang time. That’s why my lips are chapped so much. I make faces that I cannot explain. I need a self-shocking collar to shock myself out of the dumb habits I’ve formed. I need to invent the mind reading shock collar. Yes! Don’t steal my idea, people.

Ouch I have cramps. Stupid PMS. If you’ve never had the PMS, I equate it to someone tying a string around my uterus and ovaries and other innards and then tying the other end to their douch-mobile and then popping the clutch over and over. I’m a firm believer that gay people are born this way, so why doesn’t God take the fact that our reproductive systems might be completely useless and give us the option when we’re 21 years old of either keeping them or losing them when we pee one day.

Anyway, my brain is literally exhausted. I see spots when I look up. Not black spots. Colored ones. Like laser beams. It would probably be cool if I did drugs or something, but I don’t, so it’s just weird. Anyway, goodnight errybody. And thank you again for your help with the MS walk.

Decision time...

I’m writing this post Insanity Fit Test. I’m starting over. I lost momentum when I got that awful sick thing I had and now I have to get it back. This girl is tired of being the fat kid. The time to change that is now.

I took an 8-hour nap yesterday. Today was less than an hour. Needless to say I got a lot more done today than yesterday. I did laundry and scrubbed my apartment and went grocery shopping and made a victory mix for my friend Natalie’s dodgeball tournament. I made some iPhone cases using Kellie’s link on Vistaprint and took out the trash. Oh…speaking of that…

I put my trash outside of my front door while I got my shoes on and got the bathroom trash together. I swear I just set it outside. So when I went out to take it out to the dumpster, it was GONE!!! I know it was likely someone trying to be nice and carrying it out for me. But my brain can’t just let that be. It goes into all kinds of theories. Like what if a homeless person came and took it and is not making meals out of my old out of date stuff? What if the government thinks I’m a Russian spy and they took my trash to try and get clues? What if my neighbor is stalking me and wanted to dig through my trash to find out more about me, thus gaining info on what I do and where I go so they can more efficiently stalk me? What if I’m losing my mind and I never really had that bag of trash? The possibilities are endless and I don’t know what to make of it.

I’ve told you about the journal I’ve been writing in lately. It’s getting into so much of the BS that people in my world are trying to push into my life. I refuse them that power as much as I can. There is one thing I’m struggling with, though. How much do I let the support that some people offer to one of the most horrible people I’ve ever encountered affect my relationship with them? I have transcribed conversations with this person so that when she comes out with a blatant lie of how things went down, I can show everyone otherwise. She has tried to tell me that I’m a bad, hypocritical person who should never be allowed to see her kids anymore and I am dumbfounded. How is someone’s sense of reality as shot as hers? And how come people don’t see it? I don’t question my decision to write this person off. I don’t need anyone in my life who tells me how much they love me and care about me one day and then calls me an effing B the next day telling me to “Try them.” Really? Are we not grown ass women? This person would not answer the phone when I tried calling to actually converse with them about all of this crap. Texts and Facebook threats suited her more than a conversation where words actually came out of one mouth and into the others ears. And reading the texts and messages isn’t easy when it’s all one long run on sentence with no caps or punctuation. I need to make the decision that I’m doing what’s right for me and hope that others come around and see that this person is doing nothing but using them to continue freeloading through life.

Can you tell I’m frustrated with this situation? It’s draining me and I’m sick of it. So it’s time to let go.

Tony Robbins is teaching me the significance of making a decision so I feel better equipped to make one. Thanks, Tony. And Dr. Phil. And Oprah. And Ellen. And, of course, Kellie Rasberry.