Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Oh, The Bachelor

The Bachelor. I’m hooked because of one person. POMEGRANITE ONION. I know she’ll never win. I know she was a producer’s pick. I know how this game is played and I know it’s people like me that are the reason they do it. I’m fine with being that person. Who wants a season of girls who will “be sad if they don’t get picked?” Rinse, lather, repeat? I want drunken girl who you think might fall over at any point! I’m ok with secret admirer going because if she’s willing to go hide in a room most of the night, she’s not got much to offer other than notes from a limo driver and crazy eyes. But pomegranate onion? Did you catch all of her crazy? Come on, did you? “He doesn’t even know any of those girls. Get rid of them and he’s got me.” Well guess what pomegranate onion? He doesn’t know you either! Oh man this girl is going to be the most interesting part of no lip bachelor season. Yoga girl might have been the cliffhanger last night, but come on. What’s gonna happen? She’s gonna cut him or something? No. She’s going to look at him, ask what she did wrong, and then either has to leave or he will ask her to stay. Big whoop. If she stays, all I care about is what pomegranate onion has to say about it. That’s it. She feels so powerful….cutting the onion and peeling the layers. I so wish they had skipped the dang hour long waste of a red carpet thing and gotten to the dang show already. I don’t know most of those people because I’m not a loyal follower. I’ll admit that. I don’t have the time or patience to follow these shows the way I probably should, so I’m clueless whom a lot of those interviews were with. I would have LOVED to have heard more talk about onion peeling and seen that woman refer to random production screens as onions even though they aren’t onions and be so delusional as to think that farmer boy knows her better than he knows any of the other women even though he doesn’t. He doesn’t know any of the women at all…that’s why last night the biggest thing he did was the first impression rose.

With all of that being said, pomegranate onion was the best decision producers made last night. I give farmer boy none of the credit for that. It would not have played out the way it did if it was up to him. As a producer person, I know how they think and how to keep people hanging on until the very last second and that wasn’t the doings of farmer boy. So well done, ABC. Not Chris Harrison or farmer boy. It could be all pomegranate onion lady and neither of you and I would be equally as content.

That is all. Oh, and maybe drunk lady, too.