Thursday, May 16, 2013

Pretty random, but makes me happy

I just have a few random thoughts I wanted to share. Nothing incredibly deep. Who needs though provoking crap all the time? Not I, said Shanon.

Don’t bother trying to purchase unless you want to buy it from someone. I checked it out over the weekend. It’s taken. Dang it. It would look way better if it were full of rainbows, unicorns, orange sherbert Push Ups, and pictures of me.

I am now officially that girl who wears a mouthpiece to bed at night. I guess I’m grinding the heck out of my teeth on the occasion that I sleep. It hurts. So I went to the WalMarts and got s Sleep Right mouthpiece. I’ve had it a week. I’ve already done some damage to it. I also use it during the day to help me stop licking my lips. The left side of my mouth cannot heal because I won’t leave it alone. I know that people probably talk about my nasty chapped mouth behind my back. They probably assume I have some kind of disease or something. I don’t. I think my stupid tongue is just hyperactive.

I used to be pretty tan. I saw myself in a picture and I thought to myself “Dang. Look how sun touched you were at this particular moment.” Now I’m porcelain. I would rather be pasty and porcelain than all wrinkled and dark. So I guess I will take it.

Is Avril Lavigne still with that Nickelback guy? I believe that if I walked into a room and they were both standing there, it would smell like mulch. And mayonnaise. And possibly even pickles. 

I took my speaker stand apart to fix it, but now I can’t put it back together. I spray-painted it so it would be pretty again. Spray painting is not one of my talents. I guess I sprayed too much on the pole, it dripped down, and made parts stick together. So I got out my tool belt and took it apart. At least some of it. I stripped the screws on the big part. The rest of it is in pieces in my living room. I am gonna go out on a limb and say that I have the screw driving intelligence of a 10 year old boy who just took the rotary telephone apart to see how it works and can’t get it back together. Or one of those people who refuses to read the instructions on building something and has all these “extra” parts in the end that were never meant to be extra. At all. And then the bunk beds collapse and you get blood everywhere. But at least you had some extra room to do activities for a few minutes.

I am officially the owner of a boat that is good for nothing but sitting on the trailer and possibly floating. I cannot swear to the floating part of it, but I assume. I have water skis and an inner tube that I’m happy to sell if anybody wants to buy them. Heck, I might even sell the good for nothing boat if someone wanted to buy it. My sister and brother in law are looking for someone to take over their lease over by SMU. And they are selling all of their stuff. Like couch, love seat, chair, area rug…everything. So holler at me if you need any water sporting gear or home stuff.

I’m now gonna go learn the words to Boats ‘N’ Hoes. Yes, I watched Step Brothers the other day. Stay golden, pony boy. And keep your man parts off of my drum set.

That’s the end of that story. 

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Some things have to be said

Hi. It’s been a while. But now you don’t have to miss me anymore because I have a whole new list of stuff to tell you about.

First, I wanted to share the link to this page. And hopefully if you click on it, you will see why the state of Texas disgusts me. And if you want to argue on behalf of the judge in this case, just go head and unlike my FB page, please.

Anyway, to my most personal thoughts and feelings. And some not so significant stuff, I guess.

Did you know you can carry on a pretty meaningful conversation using just the titles of Kelly Clarkson songs? Here’s an example.

Since U Been Gone, you know, since you decided to Walk Away, I’ve had to stop and Catch My Breath a time or two. Why? Because of You. I’ve seen your Dark Side. And even though What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger, Mr. Know It All, People Like Us just need to say that The War Is Over. But you’re Already Gone. I Forgive You because I’ve always thought of myself as Miss Independent, but Behind These Hazel Eyes is hurt. All I Ever Wanted was for you to stand up and say “My Life Would Suck Without You.” And I would say “I’ve been waiting for A moment Like This.” Then you say You Love Me and I say “Don’t Rush. You better not be trying to use those words to get in my pants cuz I Do Not Hook Up.”

Anyway, you get the idea. Why don’t you try and have your own conversation using only an artists lyrics? It may seem kind of pointless and like a waste of time, but here’s how I feel about that. Sometimes the conversations about nothing of any significance are what keep me sane. There’s so much stuff going on that talking about it could consume an entire day. Who needs that? Who in their right mind has the desire to worry about money, family, kids, jobs, relationships, diets, crime rates, and all that other nerve racking crap all the time? Not I says Shanon. So I’m grateful to have those in my life who enjoy the conversations about nothing as much as I do.

I went to Illinois over the weekend for the Race for the Cake 5K benefitting Treat Others Well. I’d say it was a success. It was cold and rainy, but the turnout was awesome and the energy of the people there was even better. It’s nice to feel good about things going on in this world, so I’m going to add this to my list of events that were time well spent.

I’m DJing a prom this weekend and the following weekend. The thought of being surrounded by high school students gives me an insane amount of anxiety. I won’t get into the reasons behind it right now, but we are gonna talk about it some tomorrow on the Greg and Greg Show.

I’m trying really hard not to feel like the wind is being sucked out of my sails. I got a text from someone this afternoon that enraged me. I know it might be hard to believe, but as I’ve grown up, I’ve learned to handle my feelings better than before. But here’s the thing. One person can choose to be toxic. And that’s on them. But at the point that their venom gets into their kids bloodstream and starts effecting their well being…that’s when I get seriously pissed off. It’s one thing if a person chooses to be part of a toxic relationship. A grown ass person is capable of making their own decisions and has no choice but to suffer the consequences. But when it comes to kids who have had a seriously unsupportive and crappy life, it’s heartbreaking to know that their parents have given them the map to go down the same path they did. There’s no sense of remorse or desire to heal. Instead your mantra of “Misery Loves Company” ruins the people around you. The people that you should care the most about, but you’re too effing selfish and a waste of life human being . And the awful people who don’t deserve the air they breathe can just check out. Either by spending time in jail, or rehab, or just disappearing altogether. Having no consideration for anyone they supposedly care about. It makes me sick. And pissed all over again to write about it.

Man, typing some of this stuff brings a sense of relief and calmness to me that I didn’t see coming. And here’s the thing. I’ve been pretty honest with you about the guilt that I’ve grown up feeling. And in realizing that it’s time to move on and find my happy, I’m seeing that there are some people in this world who will do everything they can to make sure that my happy doesn’t come easily. And that isn’t ok with me. But I choose to fight through it all. It’s my choice not to allow the downfall of other people stand in my way. It’s like my sister said the other day. And I posted it on Facebook. Life is too short to sit around and dream of what could be. Just make it happen. I know what I want and I might have to stop and buy 100 new tires along the road to get there, but I’m gonna do it with my middle finger up in the face of the person who thought they could stop me. I might even make a t-shirt with the words “Bring It B**ch” in big, bold letters on the back. Probably not, but in my head it’s a brilliant idea.

Anyway, back to sunshine day Shanon…I wrote this morning about this gluten-free vegan thing I’ve been doing. Kellie asked me to give a list of stuff I eat so she didn’t have to google it and compile her own list. I’ve been thinking about it and my list is pretty short. I’m not gifted in the food area. At all. So forgive me for even wasting your time with my list of foods I eat.

Refried beans
Amy’s frozen meals. She has gluten free meals as well as vegan meals. And they’re pretty darn delicious.
Lots of grapes
More bananas
Apple slices
Sprouts has a gluten free pizza dough and organic pizza sauce that I like. Just throw on some fresh veggies… NO CHEESE…and bake it and enjoy
Some restaurants offer a gluten free pizza. Scrap the cheese and go to town
Lots of water
Organic juice
Vodka (I assume)
Squash, zucchini, mushrooms, tomatoes, guacamole, sweet potatoes, and pretty much any fresh fruit or vegetable your heart desires.

See. I told you it was short. I’m going to make an effort to become more domestically skilled without losing any digits, so as I figure that stuff out, I will be sure to share it.

And I guess that’s it. That’s the end of that story.