Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Just like the essay I wrote in 3rd grade...what I'm thankful for

I’m grateful…

I’m grateful for many things in my life. I’m grateful that I was able to start the New Year off fresh. I got moved into my new apartment and, since I tried to do the right thing, I had to buy pretty much everything new. Here’s some other stuff that I’m thankful for.

I’m thankful for my family and friends. More specifically, I’m thankful for the family and friends who value me as a person. Not as a person who works where I do. Not as a person they think can get them tickets to concerts and stuff. (I can’t, BTW). But those who actually know what’s going on in my head and in my heart and love me through it all.

I’m thankful for my cat. I can’t stand him at times, but in the end, I would be lost without him. Maybe this sounds pathetic. It’s OK. He’s my fur child and I’m glad I have him.

I’m also thankful that I’ve been through enough crap that I’m trying to look at the journey more than the end result. Happy endings are pretty much never guaranteed, so hopefully the road you travelled is fairly decent. I hope that you at least have some positive memories to hang onto.

I’m happy that I have a killer gut instinct. They say to follow your gut on things and they’re right. No matter what someone might try and sell you, in the end you know what’s really going on.

I’m truly thankful for my job. I’m lucky enough to work with people I see as family. I’ve known a lot of these guys more than half my life! I’m grateful for the chance to use this position to help people in need. That’s a pretty awesome feeling.

I’m thankful for my godson and nephew, Jake. He has become the high point in my life. Going from having a family and three kids to having no home, no furniture or belongings of substance, and no kids (when you had 3) sucks. I have to admit that I didn’t see much point in my life when all of it happened. It’s a sad place to be when you don’t want to continue because you put all of your value in the lives of everyone else. Not healthy. It’s a great thing to see life through the eyes of a child. Everything is so simple and pure. The love that you feel is genuine and honest. That’s the best. Laughter isn’t forced. You clearly know how they feel about you. No B.S. I guess maybe some things happen for a reason and the timing of Sam and Orlando moving back was perfect. It’s not OK to need other people in order to feel like you’re worth the air you breathe, but that’s where I was. I’m so glad that I’m able to share my love with Jake and that I can actually SEE that my sister and her husband are doing OK.

I’m also grateful for closure. I don’t have a good relationship with most of my family for reasons I won’t talk about here. However, I did get closure with my Aunt Sherry before she passed away right before Christmas. I went and sat with her in her hospital room for hours the week before she passed away. The last time I saw her, I told her that I loved her, patted her on the foot, and she said she loved me, too. I left and didn’t see her again until after she was gone. I honestly felt OK about that. The doctors told everyone that she wasn’t well and to come and say goodbye, but I didn’t feel the need to do that. I didn’t want to hover over her hospital bed with her knowing why everyone was there. I was good with the way I left things when I was there with her alone. When she could talk to me and tell me stories and share her feelings. I couldn’t really do much for her, but I was there when she was coherent and could feel my interest. I’m really glad for that.

I hope that 2017 is off to a wonderful start for everyone. I’m seriously glad that 2016 is done and gone and we never have to go back to it.

Thank you all for the unconditional love and support over the years. I feel it and I appreciate it. And I love you guys back.