Sunday, January 26, 2014

2014 Grammy's

My thoughts on the 2014 Grammy Awards

Grammy stuff

Beyonce is friggin hot. It’s funny how she and Jay-Z kept everything so hush hush, but I felt the need to tell them to get a room while they were on stage together.

What in the crap was on Lorde’s nails? It looked like she was having convulsions on stage. Is it considered art to seem high as a kite and unable to control your body?

Hunter Hayes songs sound great from the studio, but live…he’s terrible. I’ve yet to see him sound good live.

Daft Punk- WTF is up with the helmets? It’s pretty dumb.

Katy Perry- I don’t know what to say. I love you. I’m physically attracted to you. I don’t understand why you’re with John Mayer, but whatever keeps you hot and making kick a** music is fine with me. You can bring your dancing pole over to my apartment anytime.

Chicago and Robin Thicke- I would much rather see bumping and grinding to your songs that those guys whose plastic surgery is as old as you are on the stage. I feel cheated with your performance. You’re gonna need a do-over.

I strongly dislike Ellen K.

Keith Urban is a pretty, pretty man. If he likes red-heads, I’d like him to dump Nicole Kidman and marry Kellie Rasberry. I don’t know who the guy in the hat is who’s singing with you, but I don’t like him. He’s boring. You had to punch him in the arm to get any kind of emotion from him. That’s just dumb.

John Legend- Love you and the song, but I can’t stand Ellen K. Since she immediately followed you, that’s what I remember. How lame she is. Sorry.

Why are all the nominees for best rock album old guys? Because rock stuff now SUCKS. That’s why I don’t listen to it. Because it sucks.

I bet Taylor Swift’s cell number is nowhere to be found in LL Cool J’s phone.

Taylor Swift sounds really great live , but the headbanging thing doesn’t work for her. I’m always gonna like her because she was so nice when I met her.

Pink. Awesome. Hot. I’d be happy to see her touch the ground occasionally.  And the guy from Fun with a period looks DUMB with that mustache.

Lorde- thank you for seeming a little less strung out during your acceptance speech

Ozzy meltdown on stage? Was it the sunglasses keeping him from reading the screen?

Ringo Starr reminds me of the singer guy in Love Actually. Except I like the guy in Love Actually better.

The best part of Imagine Dragons was Kendrick Lamar. But they keep coming back to this dang Radiactive song.

Kacey Musgraves must be shaking in her dang Christmas lit up boots having to follow Kendrick Lamar with Imagine Dragons on back up vocals and drums.

What’s worse than Paul McCartney taking up valuable Grammy performance time? Paul McCartney doing stuff from the new album.

Seeing Yoko Ono dancing might have made about :07 of this tolerable

Bruno Mars is pretty dang cute. But his Cowboy clothes look is dumb.

This backstage twitter crap is just that. Crap.

I never have understood Willie Nelson. Now I can say I don’t get Chris Christopherson, either. There’s a new generation of country superstars. So let’s let those who require oxygen tanks to stay home and WATCH the Grammy’s.

I’m officially going to say this on the record. I would like to battle Willie Nelson in a sing off. I might actually win.

Kacey Musgraves is pretty gorgeous. I’ve loved her work with JAB…glad to see she’s kicking some booty on her own now.

Is it wrong to refer to Neil Patrick Harris as the man whore of awards shows?

Stevie Wonder actually puts some energy into what he’s doing. So I can deal with him.  That performance was actually pretty dang great.

I’m OK with not hearing Cyndi Lauper talk very often.

I feel partially responsible for Sara Bareilles’ success. I convinced Kidd to let me book her before “Love Song” was a huge hit. This Brave song is greatness. I know Carol King is a legend or whatever, but she doesn’t belong on the stage with Sara. Sara outsings her by miles!!!

Do you think Lorde still dreams of driving a Cadillac?

Jared Leto is a very pretty man, too.

I used to be terrified of the lead singer for Metallica. He scared the crap out of me. Now he’s cut his hair and isn’t near what I remember. I’m not scared anymore. Even if he is still kind of angry sounding. That piano guy looks way too happy for this angry song.

How long is this show going to be on?

You think in 20 years Justin Bieber will be on that stage as a classic, never to be forgotten artist?

Steven Tyler might have been a tad awkward up there, but he’s such a friggin nice guy. I can’t say a bad word about him.

Daft Punk needs to figure out some method of winning an award other than just standing there wasting my damn time.

Hello Queen Latifah. Is this where she comes out of the closet? Follow in Jodie Foster’s footsteps???

Perhaps I’m biased, but I believe that Macklemore sets the bar for artists these days.

I thought Queen Latifah would get married. This is freaking awesome. I don’t know I feel about Madonna’s outfit, but it’s cool to see her there as part of this.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

I'm exhausting...

I think it's been a while. I'm too lazy to look at the date of my last post. But I feel like it's been a bit.

So. I wish that I had some groundbreaking something or another to tell you about. I really don't. I'm as sick of writing about feeling like poo as you probably are reading about it. So I will keep it short. Tomorrow I go in for some test that's supposed to make me want to throw up. It's to find out why I throw up. Needless to say I'm not looking forward to it.

It's so strange how much life has changed in the past three months. I am insanely blessed to be on the road to recovery. And to have health insurance. I cannot imagine how much the stress of not having it would be getting to me right now. So God...and Kidd...THANK YOU.

I'm still at mom and dads house on the elevated twin sized bed. My head is still not totally healed from the incision, so hair washing has become quite the luxury. Thank goodness for dry shampoo, right? I'm starting to think that I have too much time on my hands to think about how I feel. I need to get back into some kind of routine. So I'm hoping that the neurosurgeon has a medical release form ready for me to pick up tomorrow when I go to the hospital for this test.

I guess I'm one of those people who needs a purpose. I don't feel like I really have that right now. To go from full throttle Kidd's Kids mode to this is a far jump. And not a jump in the right direction. I just couldn't risk being a detriment to the show with my slow brain and hands. I need to get my confidence back. Maybe I will even work towards cockiness. Probably not, but the thought is cool. Life isn't waiting for me to feel better, so it's time to suck it up and move on.

I've had some pretty deep thought processes in all of my spare time. I will share some of them with you now. I'm going to end on the pointless one.

First off I catch myself being really bitter. As I've said before I've tried to be a good person and help others and set a good example for anyone who chose to follow mine. I've gotten pretty angry when I've thought about the sh*t people in this world and how little effort they put into their lives and, from my experience, their lives seem to be decent. Not saying that I don't have a decent life because I do. I'm just being a puss right now and I'm kinda hoping that sharing it with all of you who either agree or disagree and choose to spend your time telling me how screwed up my thoughts are can shed some light on the reality of life.

I keep a journal that no one has gotten to even look at before. It's EVERYTHING that I think about. Good and bad and everything in between. I got the chance to write in it a lot lately (although it might not be legible) to kind of just get it all out. Here's a tiny little peek into what I wrote.

How many chances in this world do drug addicts get to rehabilitate themselves and move on with life? How are child molestors who are married to people who know about their spouses sick acts given that chance? Why do people believe compulsive liars? Why do compulsive liars have such a sense of entitlement that they waste peoples time with the lies? What defines family? Are you obligated to forgive people just because somewhere there's some tie in your blood line? If someone screws you over time after time after time and then expects you to just move on and forget their wrong doings, does it make you weak to tell them no?

Those are just some of the topics I hit on. I can't get into the why's and how's and all that, but maybe the surgery isn't what gives me headaches...maybe it's my thoughts.

I look at the world around me and it boggles my mind sometimes.  That makes me no different than everyone else though. Don't we all overthink stuff and things and people and relationships? Somebody PLEASE tell me yes so I don't feel like the only over thinker here.

I posted something yesterday I think about stuff to look for in the person you marry. Some people hated on it (of course). I was looking at the comments earlier and there was one that stuck out to me. Someone wrote that you should be with someone who you look over at when you wake up first thing in the morning and you know that they think you are beautiful. I've never been married. I've never even had a relationship last more than 3 years. But when I do get married, it will be to someone I feel beautiful with. No question. No matter how you feel about your messy hair and stinky know that they accept it. And even more they look forward to kissing that stinky breath. We are all so conscious about ourselves (except for the sucky people who SHOULD be self-conscious) it so wrong to make it necessary to have someone who sees in you what you might not always see in yourself? There are some negotiables, but in my opinion, this is not one of them.

Life is so full of questions and stressors and all the other stuff that I can't think of right now. In my opinion, the way that your spouse sees you should never be one of those questions. So I steal that from the person who made the comment and add it to the list that also wasn't mine and tell everyone to make it so....

On a much less meaningful note, I was overanalyzing the Cody Simpson song "Pretty Brown Eyes" earlier. If he can walk up to a lady and say "Hey there pretty brown eyes...whatchu doing later tonight..." and it work, why doesn't my line of "hey pretty lady" work? I could be someone's wave to surf or whatever he says. Is it because I don't have an accent? Do I need to become a lesbian who looks like Justin Bieber to have a successful line? I don't find lesbians who could be mistaken for Justin Bieber or any other man for that matter to be attractive, so am I just screwed when it comes to using a line? Dang it. Why have I given a Cody Simpson song so much thought and attention? He's not even had a big hit here.

I think I just gave myself another headache, so I won't even get into my current imaginary fight that Kelly Clarkson and I are having. Let's just say that in my head, I'm winning.

With that, I'm gonna go blow my nose and prepare for tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Wanna see my scar and scab? And more?

OK I linked this because I know that not everyone would want to see it. You guys saw my head back when it had stitches and staples holding it together. This is what it looks like now on January 7. Yes, I know that I have a LOT of gray hair. I always have. Thats why I depend on Kelli Stewart to keep me looking young.

I did get the lab results back from the endocrinologist today. My 7 vials of blood drawn were all fine. So that's a plus. But that still leaves the question of why nothing stays in my stomach unless I'm high on Phenergan? And even with it, I still throw up. Is it something with a fluid build up in my ears? I have an ENT appt tomorrow. Is it a gastro problem? Who the heck knows. Is my brain just still super pissed because they removed a part of it that had been there for so long? My brain is a girl, and you know that once you make us mad, it takes a lot for us to get over it. My brain has been doing no sweet talking and has given me no pretty gifts, so there's a chance that it's all just from having my head innards picked at. I guess I can also show pics of the tumor itself. I will scroll down and post. Here's your chance to click out. I'm telling you. It's blood and tumors and literally the inside of my head.

My head January 7, 2014. I know it's not pretty, but it's my reality. And this reality itches and hurts like a beeyotch at times.

The next ones are from during the surgery. They are graphic. You have been warned.

Here's the tumor inside my brain still. It looks like a pearl or something. It's not. It's a tumor.

This is towards the end when they put a titanium rod in there to fill the space they drilled out I guess. 

Here's the "mesh"covering up the rod. 

 Here are the pieces they picked out. I got lucky because Dr. Morgan figured out that if they changed the angle they went in my head, they could get a good chunk out of it at once. The less they mess around in there, the less chance of complications. So here it is in chunks.
 And here's a closer pic of a piece of it. I'm not sure who's holding it. Maybe Steve the wire guy.