If you care about my thoughts on the bathroom situation

Hi there. It’s been a while, but there’s something on my brain and I need to just get it out and I saw this blog from a mom today and I was like THANK YOU!!! Let me preface this by first saying that I’m not one to call another person ignorant because they believe something different than me. The world would suck if we all thought the same stuff. However, I do believe that a person is ignorant if they’re unwilling to open their eyes to other people’s opinions or feelings or beliefs. I don’t have a tolerance for ignorance, either. It’s probably one of my biggest flaws, but we all have them, right?

This whole bathroom argument is seriously too much. People boycotting Target over it is crazy to me. Just to be sure I have my thoughts in order, I’ve done my research and yes. As always, we need to protect the people we love- just like we did every day before Target said that their bathrooms were open to anyone. Guess what? At no point have I eve seen a security guard outside of a bathroom door ANYWHERE keeping tabs on who went in what bathroom. So if you think that this is a huge issue all of the sudden, you’re wrong. If a bad person has their mind set on doing wrong, they’re going to do it. And here’s another fact. Most of this sexual stuff people are so scared about with kids is done in residences. Are people boycotting their homes? According to the stats I read, 69% of assaults reported with kids under 12 were in their home and a stranger committed only 25% of them. Should you boycott friends and family, too? Now that I mention it, yes. I know some people who should.

Here’s my thought. Our view on the Transgender community is based on Kaitlyn Jenner and that’s a really unfair portrayal. I think that she is a terrible excuse of a human being. I know that every Kardashian uses their lifestyle as a moneymaking opportunity, but Bruce had a huge opportunity to show the world how normal he could still be after his transition. Maybe it’s the hormones she has to take with the transition. I don’t know the reason behind the drama. I do know that IN MY OPINION he made a mockery of the whole process and it’s shameful.

With that being said, it’s also shameful for us to take a whole community and base our opinion on things that we don’t know. With everything else going on in the world, is the bathroom situation at Target really what we need to focus our energy on? I mean really? I’ve figured out that we cast the biggest judgment on things that we are most ignorant about. I’ve also found that some people are just flat out hateful. What can you do, right?

I can’t now nor will I ever understand how those who preach that we are all Gods children can say that someone who identifies as they do but was born otherwise makes them feel unsafe. I can’t understand how people who go to Klan meetings on Saturday night or goes out and gets wasted at the club and sleeps around and has love babies all over the place can go to church on Sunday mornings can claim that they are better than me on Sunday mornings. Being a worthy person goes further than an hour and a half once a week or tweeting a Bible verse or checking in at a fundraiser. It’s the whole package.

Maybe a lot of us should be working on our package instead of posting and picketing about the bathroom at Target.

Man. I feel so much better now that I’ve gotten that off my chest. It’s so irritating when I know that the people who pass the harshest judgment are the ones who have lived lives filled with shame.

This is the blog I read that made me want to share my thoughts on all of this. It has some seriously vulgar terms in it, so don’t read it if you can’t handle those. It’s written by the mom of a 6-year old and she’s talking about the reality of raising a little girl and the things that girls actually grow up doing and questions why we are so fearful of this bathroom mess and not the real dangers of the world.

http://americannewsx.com/human-interest/mom-shreds-every-bathroom-banner-startling-rant-everyone-must-read/

I might be a business GENIUS!

I went to church with Meagan yesterday and I learned a few things totally unrelated to the Bible. Did you know that a lot of states have their own way of finding out how long winter will last? They don’t depend on the groundhog in Pennsylvania. One state has a woodchuck they count on. His name is Chuck. I had no clue!

I also learned that the word tabernacle means place of worship. I guess I kind of already knew this, but now I know it for sure.

I have a GENIUS idea for a kid’s game. Seriously. I don’t know what to do with it, though. It’s not an original idea, but another idea rebranded for a completely different age group. So, what now? Parents will thank me for this if I figure it out. So, if you know what I can do, let me know. FOR REAL.

This weekend I’m going to be the DJ and emcee at Cupid’s Chase Dallas. It’s a 5K at Bachman Lake and the money benefits people with disabilities. I can’t do the run while I’m being all fun and stuff at the tent, nut if you care to run it, you can still sign up. Or if you want to just donate to the cause and come hang out and stuff, you can also do that. Here’s the link.

http://imatter.comop.org/site/TR?fr_id=1251&pg=entry

I made a tough decision a few weekends ago. I might have already told you this, so if I’m repeating myself, I’m sorry. If I haven’t, then I’m excited to announce this HUGE news. I’ve decided on my favorite packaged condiment. Jack In The Box Taco Sauce. It’s delicious on everything. Seriously. It’s also instant heartburn.

I have something to admit about church yesterday. I took a picture of one of the worship leaders because I thought Kellie would think he was cute. I’m pretty sure he’s married. I don’t want them to hook up or anything. I was just like, Hey! He’s cute! Kellie would think he’s cute AND he likes Jesus. I should take his picture! So I did, but I guess God didn’t approve because it wasn’t even a good enough picture to show.

We learned about Hebrew in the Bible yesterday in church. What about it? I will tell you. Not to let your heart harden. That’s what I got from it. It was hard to focus because the kid in front of us was drawing and he tried to put a pencil in his eye. And there was a guy in the crowd who would answer all of the questions the minister would rhetorically ask. I have to admit that had we been anywhere else, I would have answered in the opposite way just to spite that guy. He was like the howling guy on the Super Bowl last night. But in church. He was nonstop and I couldn’t let it go.

It was cool, though. I like the music they play.

You want to know what’s funny? There’s these neighbor people on the street that call code compliance for EVERYTHING. If we leave the recycle bin out too long on accident, we have code compliance sitting outside the first minute possible. It’s a stay at home mom and I know she’s busy with a little boy running around, so I don’t know how she has time to bother with sitting on the phone with the city. However, she does.

They just got new neighbors and I’m wondering how it’s working for them. These neighbors are less than ideal for nightmares like them. They were outside having an all nighter the day after MLK Day. They have a fire pit outside and play classic rock songs loud enough that I can hear them a couple houses down. They’re not rude about their noise, it just carries. And these neighbors are incapable of minding their business, so I’m almost surprised the cops haven’t been called yet. How do you deal with the neighbor that has seriously NOTHING BETTER TO DO than find reasons to complain about you? It’s seriously insane. Is there a law that says they can’t have their Christmas lights up anymore? They do. I need to look that up in the code handbook today.

Do you ever want to ask someone “Why do you do these things?” Except you can’t because then things will just get even worse? So you want someone else to ask that person why they do those things for you? Is there someone you want to ask that question to? I can ask for you. Maybe. Unless it’s really awkward. Like if someone is stealing your sandwich at work and you want help asking them WHY… or if they keep using the last bit of toilet paper and REFUSE to replace it…WHY? Lemme know! Maybe I can help!

Oh! I have another idea! But this isn’t a product. It’s a business idea. So if you know how to get this one up and running, let me know. Thanks.

And I do still DJ.

comedjforme@gmail.com

New Year, New Blog!

I’ve said for a long time that all of my people love ranch dressing and I do still stand by that statement. I made a bold decision over the weekend, though. The kids wanted Jack in the Box for lunch on Saturday, so we went. I don’t eat there often, but I realized that when I do, I ALWAYS do one thing. It doesn’t matter what I get. A hamburger, fries, tacos…anything. I always put their taco sauce on it. Therefore I am hereby proclaiming that Jack in the Box taco sauce is my favorite pre-packaged and sealed condiment.

After making that known I feel such relief. Whew.

It’s sort of sad, but I got a new phone and I lost a lot of great thoughts. Most of them were pointless, but they were great, too. I will think of something and make a note of it in my phone. I had to replace my iPhone after many years and when I went to back it up before replacing it, I did it all wrong. I lost every contact I had. I don’t know where I backed up what content I did save. It’s OK, I guess. I should think of new thoughts. Or learn how to do things right sometimes.

I did get to kick off 2016 as the official DJ for the Kellie Rasberry New Years Eve party. I earned my money at that party. It was a tough crowd! The station hosting it is 106.1 KISS FM, so we play top 40 music. You know, Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez, Nicki Minaj, Drake, and that kind of modern stuff. I worked hard before the party and put together 19 hours of music that included a ton of Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez, Nicki Minaj, and Drake. I was less than prepared when people came up to me after the dinner portion of the party and said, and I quote, “My wife and I are worried that we might break a hip dancing to this. Can you play some disco or some polka, please?”

I wasn’t prepared for disco hits or polka.

Well, maybe some disco. Not polka. So, it was time to regroup. Thank goodness I had some old school hits in my pocket that everyone loves. I don’t think any hips were broken or even dislocated. Kellie did give a veteran in a wheelchair and his service dog a lap dance. She also stopped a line dance for a VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT. She needed to tell the women right then that it’s ok to be WT. Take your shoes off like she did. (I love Kellie). She insisted that I play the Electric Slide and I swear to you that is the second time in my life that anyone has ever requested that song. I don’t think she finished the dance, BTW. It’s OK, though, as long as everyone had fun.

That was how 2016 kicked off. It was with a kiss, which made me very happy. I am very lucky, which also makes me very happy.

Do I have resolutions? I suppose so.

-       I have decided that I don’t like enough people, so I’m the problem. Instead of thinking about why I don’t like them, I’m trying to start thinking of the reasons why people might like or dislike me. I still need to respect a person, so if there’s no respect, there’s no chance of me liking them EVER.

-       I want my arms to be defined again. My left arm cramps up a lot, so I want to work on that one a lot.

-       I would like to and have been asked to blog more often. It feels good to do this, so I don’t know why I have stopped putting in the effort. I’m going and going so much more now days, it’s hard to sit down and think and type sometimes. I need to just do it. I will.

-       I’m going to shave my cat once a month. He’s too hairy and I don’t pet him enough because of it. I’m going to give him cool hairstyles, too. It’s been resolved.

-       I’m going to learn to let things go better than I do, be more patient, and pick my battles. I have to.

-       I’m going to learn common core math. It’s a must at this point in my life! Layla is in 4^th grade, Jacob is in 2^nd, and Peyton is in kindergarten. It’s like going through elementary school all over again!

-       I am going to learn balance and keep it. I have to.

Those are the big ones. I’ve got others, like less guilt if I buy myself a new pair of shoes or something. I think I drive myself crazy a lot and I need to work on that.

I need to replace my car battery. It just dies the other day and so I charged it with my portable jump starter and it’s been OK mostly. I googled it and it says that batteries last about 4 years. My car is a 2013 that I got in June or July 2012, so it’s almost 4 years old. If I can jump my car battery, I can probably replace the thing, too, right?

Wanna know how much I’ve saved with the Cartwheel app this year? $143.87! That’s a lot, huh?

I guess that’s all the blogging I have in me for the moment. My nose is so runny today and it’s just stupid. The kids had strep throat and an ear infection last week, but they’re better this week. Poor Peyton was the only kid who wasn’t complaining, but she was the one with the highest fever. I guess Meagan and I are immune to the strep, though, because we seem to be OK. (knocking on wood).

I will see you soon. Making new notes in the iPhone. Happy 2016.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Headlice- A jingle!

I'm gonna start and finish this with a typical Shanon thought. Do you think they will make a cartoon called Teenage Mutant Ninja Head Lice to teach kids about preventative measures of not getting infected? Or is that a Michael Bay lawsuit waiting to happen? Just think of the theme song potential. I'm winging this.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Head Lice x3

Crawling to your friends head

Mutant larvae

They're in schools in 30 different states

When your head gets itchy don't scratch

The nits and eggs are under attack

Teenage Mutant Ninja Head Lice

Don't judge or hate. I seriously did that with Siri as I drove and corrected it when I wasn't.

Do you ever feel like you just NEED a fountain drink? I feel like that. I even went to McDonalds to get one before work, but they didn’t answer at the drive through! So I backed up and went to the other lane…but no answer there, either! What the heck! I talked to the speaker, knocked on it, stared at it, tickled it a little…I’m so confused. No fountain drink for me. No egg white delight. And no bacon, egg, and cheese McGriddle for Trey, either.

You know one of the biggest problems with Facebook? Idiots.

See…my brain can go from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Head Lice jingles to idiots to changing my cars name.

I think I need to change the name of my car from Kelly Clarkson to something else. It’s purely personal. I just don’t feel the same love that I used to for Kelly anymore. I used to look at my car and see “Kelly.” It doesn’t happen that way anymore. I look at my cat and I see “Brody.” I look at my sister and I see “Sam.” What do I see when I look at my car? Maybe I need to name her after a rapper. I love rap. Maybe Spindarella. The wheels spin. It’s kind of like Cinderella who does ride in a carriage, which is a means of transportation. I have met Spindarella. I did meet the girl who said Spindarella was her sister, which I took literally. Come to find out they were just good friends and not actually blood relatives. I felt so dumb. I love that song “None of Your Business.” So yeah…maybe my cars new name is Spindarella. I’ll call her Spin for short. Spinny can be her pet name. When Rihanna’s “Umbrella” comes on, that part where she says “ella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh…” can be Spin’s theme song. I truly think this was meant to be! I think this decision was truly meant to be. Right now. At this time. Funny how God works, huh?

Do you think there should be a ban on birthday candles? Have you ever given any thought to how unsanitary they really are? People will walk around a public place with a surgical mask on their face to prevent the spread of germs, but we’re OK with people blowing all over a cake to extinguish candles and then eat it like it’s never been possibly spit upon? I don’t like candles on birthday cakes. I know that I’m OCD. I’m a freak about birthday candles. I am weird about whose birthday cake I will eat if there have been candles blown out. Of course kids are gonna lose a little spit when they blow, but they’re kids. They’re perfect and can’t be blamed. I’ll eat their cake. But if there’s the obligatory birthday cake at work and there’s someone who dips or something and they blow out candles…I’ll admit. I’m probably not going to eat that cake. I’ll give a birthday hug or whatever if I truly wish them a happy year. I don’t wish anyone a bad year, but I wish just an average year for a few people. I don wish itchy days for some…itching does suck. But I don’t wish bad on anyone unless they truly earn it. And then I think karma will bite them in the butt, so I just wish karma on them. So then it’s really me hoping for what they put out in the world to come back to them. Anyway, back to birthday candles. No, BTW…I’m not on drugs. I don’t understand why more people don’t think about the things I do. This stuff is REAL. Its gonna be me and the cockroaches and all the other non-birthday candles blowers running around in the end and all the haters gonna be up there or down there still hating. It’s OK. I won’t say I told you so.

I did get a rash on Saturday after DJing a pool party and it kind of weirded me out. I’ve gotten heat rashes before, but that was from riding my bike for too long and rubbing my butt on the seat and irritating it. This was on the inner folds of both my arms. Then it started going down and around my arms and on my chest. My lips were itching. Does that mean I’m allergic to heat? I took some Benadryl and rubbed some cream on it and it was better on Sunday, but then it started to pop back up a little on Sunday night. Seriously though. Do I officially have an excuse to only stay in an air-conditioned environment from now on?

Do you ever wonder why some companies fail to make the things that you love the most? Have you ever tried Neutrogena’s Pomegranate Rainbath body soap? If you’ve not, you’re missing out. Even the regular smelling one is heaven, but the pomegranate is my favorite. You can’t really find it much, though. I have a Sam’s Club membership and they have the big bottles of it at some stores for like $17.99, but it’s not often you find it. They have this blue bottle and, of course, the normal scented one. Why not the pomegranate? I think the beauty of pomegranate is truly lost on the world sometimes. It’s really my favorite smell when it comes to stuff I use to clean my body with. My skin is super sensitive, so I can’t use a lot of smelly things. I can use that stuff, though, and it’s never bothered me. I also use the store brand of the Neutrogena body oil out of the shower (while I’m still wet) and that works well, too. I can’t use many face washes or moisturizers because they burn SO bad. So I started using either Cataphyll wash or Cera Ve wash and Cera Ve sunscreen as moisturizer. It’s a specific one, though. Any other kind makes my face feel like it’s on fire. Why am I talking about this? I don’t even know.

I’m going to also tell you about another one of my most favorite things. You have likely never had these before unless you just stumbled upon them and were blessed to enjoy their greatness. Sanuk shoes. OMG. They are SO insanely comfortable. They last forever, too. I don’t get paid to mention anything about anything, so don’t go thinking that. I was just thinking as I was wearing them the other day, “Man…I should tell people about these. They’re to comfortable not to tell people about.” So here I am telling you about the. I have some loafers, flip flops, boat shoes, and I give them as gifts. If you have the Zulily app on your phone, they put them on there a lot. The yoga mat bottoms are to die for. Seriously. Anyway, now I feel like I should be getting paid to talk about these, so I’m going to shut up about them now.

I guess that’s really all I’ve got right now. I just figured some lighthearted talk about nothing would do my soul some good. I think I’m right. It did. Thanks for being so awesome. I love your love and appreciate you more than you know.

I'm gonna be a GODMOTHER!!!

We all say stupid things in our lives. We all make mistakes because that’s part of being human. What hopefully comes with making those mistakes is learning from them. When we don’t, there’s an issue.

I was watching Intervention the other day and saw this guy who sucks on those electronic cleaner cans. He does like $40 worth of them a day. It’s insane. He was like a demon when he was sucking on them and he had hit rock bottom. He had a child that he wasn’t allowed to see. The kid lived with his mom, so he had to go and live with his aunt. During the intervention, his family had to chase him down the hallway of the hotel because he wasn’t going to go. The only reason he went in the end was his fear of homelessness.

It said that he cleaned up his act at the end of the episode. He looked SO much better. All I could think about was that I hoped it was true for the sake of his child. I think that’s on my mind because my sister asked me if I would be my nephew, Jake’s, godmother. There’s such responsibility that comes with just getting prepared for that. I was baptized when I was younger, but I need my other sacraments. That means attending classes and learning the faith that my sister and brother in law prefer Jake to be raised to follow. That’s HUGE to me.

If you don’t know, my sister and her husband moved to Maui a little over two years ago. My nephew was born there in November and I met him in December. We Face time occasionally, but that’s the extent of our contact. However, the fact that my sister trusts me enough to ask me to carry such an honor means the world to me. I love kids and she knows that I had a really great relationship with Ethan, so I believe that she trusts that I would be equally as close to Jake.

It makes me think, though. What are the values that I would instill in Jake if it came down to it? What are the things that are most important to me? I think the important things in life really can be broken down to a few simple things.

First is making sure that the people you love know it. Period. You can tell a person that you love them every second of the day, but if you say it while you punch them in the face or write them love notes while you accuse them of false things in front of a judge, it’s a lie. That’s not love. I’m not sure what that is, really. But it’s not love. Love is building people up when the rest of the world wants to tear them down. It’s standing by them when things are less than perfect. It’s selflessness when selfishness seems to be the way to go. It’s doing what’s best for them when it may not be the easiest thing for you. That’s what love is. We should try and SHOW it more than we SAY it.

I value good character. I once posted something that said I’d rather be an honest sinner than a lying hypocrite. I stand by that. You may not agree with everything that I do, but I don’t hold that against you as long as your disagreement is done respectfully. Once it’s hateful…that’s when things can get ugly. I’m not going to teach hate. I believe that it does no good and it would be nice if we lived in a world where everyone who was preaching about “envy” being a sin would see how much worse hatred really is. I would much rather feel a little bit jealous because someone is way more successful than me than have hate in my heart and go act on that. That’s just childish.

Priorities. I don’t understand why people have such screwed up priorities. We get so mad when we hear stories of “homeless” people spending the money they collect on beer or liquor or whatever. I get it. I do it. I look at people like J-Si and I feel proud to know them. He’s got a pretty wife, he’s on the radio and TV, his kids are adorable, he’s cute…he could be a total DB. He’s honest to goodness one of the nicest, most down to earth, hard working people I know. He comes in and shows off pictures of his kids and tells stories about them and he’s a proud daddy. The shirtless pic stuff is real, so there is that side to him, but he works hard for that, so do you blame him? I don’t know what he makes in a year, but he is practical and wants to make sure that his family is taken care of in the future. He gets it. He has learned from his past and knows what he wants. PRIORITIES. His health, his family, and his future.

Learning to be selfless. This is impossible for some people. I know this for a fact. I know that sounds harsh, but it’s true. I don’t know if it’s genetic or if it’s an ignorant mindset or what it is, but I truly believe that there are people in this world that are incapable of selflessness. Whether it comes to their parents, their spouses, or even their own children. I think about Janelle on Teen Mom. She made the comment on last week’s episode when she was fighting with Nathan about taking full custody of Jace. She said, “When Janelle is the boss, she’s just gonna take Jace from Barbara and be selfish with him.” Then she got mad at Nathan when he talked about easing Jace out of his current home. It’s nothing more than a purely selfish, vengeful move on Janelle’s part to take that child away from his grandma that way. She wants to be the boss and take him away from what he’s known his whole life. And why? To prove she can…if the judge allows.

Janelle and her mom have never had a good relationship, so this poor kid is nothing more than a way for Janelle to get back at her. Then you look at Adam who wants 50/50 custody from Chelsea. He’s got how long of a rap sheet in the legal system? How many times have you seen him alone with Aubrey? He’s supposed to have supervised visitation with his parents, but his parents are never there. It’s always his friends. He can give Aubrey nothing but added instability in her life! Why is he doing that? Selfishness. He is willing to hurt his kid, just like Janelle is, to get what he wants. That’s awful. That’s not love. Selfishness isn’t love.

I know that I’m far from perfect, but none of us are. I’m trying to learn and grow from my mistakes as I make them, though. I’d be lying if I said that I sat down and read Bible verses every night because I don’t. I know right from wrong when it comes to the big picture and when I screw up, you better believe I internalize it. I’m not going to blame anyone else for my mistakes because that would be teaching Jake the wrong lesson in life. Life is too short to spread hate. Own your mistakes. Love like you mean it. Be selfless. Teach selflessness. Learn from your mistakes and hope for others to be better than you are. I’ve heard that we should want better for our kids or something like that. Isn’t that true? Pure bliss in their hearts whenever possible? What’s wrong with daydreaming about unicorns and rainbows as long as possible? Why put the burdens of the real world on them before it’s necessary? I wish I would’ve daydreamed for a few more years when I was little.

Speaking of…I ordered a blank book so I can write and illustrate one for Jake before he comes to town. I want it to teach some of these lessons I wrote about today. Hence the blog. I needed to inspire myself. Last night when I was falling asleep I was considering writing about Shanon’s Silly Socks. I love socks. Don’t ask why…I’m not sure. There’s not really a moral there, though…unless my socks have feelings. But that implies that they’re so dirty they come to life. Aah!