We all say stupid things in our lives. We all make mistakes because that’s part of being human. What hopefully comes with making those mistakes is learning from them. When we don’t, there’s an issue.
I was watching Intervention the other day and saw this guy who sucks on those electronic cleaner cans. He does like $40 worth of them a day. It’s insane. He was like a demon when he was sucking on them and he had hit rock bottom. He had a child that he wasn’t allowed to see. The kid lived with his mom, so he had to go and live with his aunt. During the intervention, his family had to chase him down the hallway of the hotel because he wasn’t going to go. The only reason he went in the end was his fear of homelessness.
It said that he cleaned up his act at the end of the episode. He looked SO much better. All I could think about was that I hoped it was true for the sake of his child. I think that’s on my mind because my sister asked me if I would be my nephew, Jake’s, godmother. There’s such responsibility that comes with just getting prepared for that. I was baptized when I was younger, but I need my other sacraments. That means attending classes and learning the faith that my sister and brother in law prefer Jake to be raised to follow. That’s HUGE to me.
If you don’t know, my sister and her husband moved to Maui a little over two years ago. My nephew was born there in November and I met him in December. We Face time occasionally, but that’s the extent of our contact. However, the fact that my sister trusts me enough to ask me to carry such an honor means the world to me. I love kids and she knows that I had a really great relationship with Ethan, so I believe that she trusts that I would be equally as close to Jake.
It makes me think, though. What are the values that I would instill in Jake if it came down to it? What are the things that are most important to me? I think the important things in life really can be broken down to a few simple things.
First is making sure that the people you love know it. Period. You can tell a person that you love them every second of the day, but if you say it while you punch them in the face or write them love notes while you accuse them of false things in front of a judge, it’s a lie. That’s not love. I’m not sure what that is, really. But it’s not love. Love is building people up when the rest of the world wants to tear them down. It’s standing by them when things are less than perfect. It’s selflessness when selfishness seems to be the way to go. It’s doing what’s best for them when it may not be the easiest thing for you. That’s what love is. We should try and SHOW it more than we SAY it.
I value good character. I once posted something that said I’d rather be an honest sinner than a lying hypocrite. I stand by that. You may not agree with everything that I do, but I don’t hold that against you as long as your disagreement is done respectfully. Once it’s hateful…that’s when things can get ugly. I’m not going to teach hate. I believe that it does no good and it would be nice if we lived in a world where everyone who was preaching about “envy” being a sin would see how much worse hatred really is. I would much rather feel a little bit jealous because someone is way more successful than me than have hate in my heart and go act on that. That’s just childish.
Priorities. I don’t understand why people have such screwed up priorities. We get so mad when we hear stories of “homeless” people spending the money they collect on beer or liquor or whatever. I get it. I do it. I look at people like J-Si and I feel proud to know them. He’s got a pretty wife, he’s on the radio and TV, his kids are adorable, he’s cute…he could be a total DB. He’s honest to goodness one of the nicest, most down to earth, hard working people I know. He comes in and shows off pictures of his kids and tells stories about them and he’s a proud daddy. The shirtless pic stuff is real, so there is that side to him, but he works hard for that, so do you blame him? I don’t know what he makes in a year, but he is practical and wants to make sure that his family is taken care of in the future. He gets it. He has learned from his past and knows what he wants. PRIORITIES. His health, his family, and his future.
Learning to be selfless. This is impossible for some people. I know this for a fact. I know that sounds harsh, but it’s true. I don’t know if it’s genetic or if it’s an ignorant mindset or what it is, but I truly believe that there are people in this world that are incapable of selflessness. Whether it comes to their parents, their spouses, or even their own children. I think about Janelle on Teen Mom. She made the comment on last week’s episode when she was fighting with Nathan about taking full custody of Jace. She said, “When Janelle is the boss, she’s just gonna take Jace from Barbara and be selfish with him.” Then she got mad at Nathan when he talked about easing Jace out of his current home. It’s nothing more than a purely selfish, vengeful move on Janelle’s part to take that child away from his grandma that way. She wants to be the boss and take him away from what he’s known his whole life. And why? To prove she can…if the judge allows.
Janelle and her mom have never had a good relationship, so this poor kid is nothing more than a way for Janelle to get back at her. Then you look at Adam who wants 50/50 custody from Chelsea. He’s got how long of a rap sheet in the legal system? How many times have you seen him alone with Aubrey? He’s supposed to have supervised visitation with his parents, but his parents are never there. It’s always his friends. He can give Aubrey nothing but added instability in her life! Why is he doing that? Selfishness. He is willing to hurt his kid, just like Janelle is, to get what he wants. That’s awful. That’s not love. Selfishness isn’t love.
I know that I’m far from perfect, but none of us are. I’m trying to learn and grow from my mistakes as I make them, though. I’d be lying if I said that I sat down and read Bible verses every night because I don’t. I know right from wrong when it comes to the big picture and when I screw up, you better believe I internalize it. I’m not going to blame anyone else for my mistakes because that would be teaching Jake the wrong lesson in life. Life is too short to spread hate. Own your mistakes. Love like you mean it. Be selfless. Teach selflessness. Learn from your mistakes and hope for others to be better than you are. I’ve heard that we should want better for our kids or something like that. Isn’t that true? Pure bliss in their hearts whenever possible? What’s wrong with daydreaming about unicorns and rainbows as long as possible? Why put the burdens of the real world on them before it’s necessary? I wish I would’ve daydreamed for a few more years when I was little.
Speaking of…I ordered a blank book so I can write and illustrate one for Jake before he comes to town. I want it to teach some of these lessons I wrote about today. Hence the blog. I needed to inspire myself. Last night when I was falling asleep I was considering writing about Shanon’s Silly Socks. I love socks. Don’t ask why…I’m not sure. There’s not really a moral there, though…unless my socks have feelings. But that implies that they’re so dirty they come to life. Aah!