Friday, October 18, 2013

A lotta IF/Thens and the one???

I originally wrote this in Word to be copied and pasted. There are 4-pages that I've written that will stay as a word document only. Very insightful, but maybe too insightful. So let's scratch the surface of my brain in public while I work through the other 4 pages in private. I feel like a tease now. It was about leaps of faith and gratitude and changes in my life over the past year. That's about it. 

I didn’t do three in a week this week because, well, I just didn’t. I guess my mind was just overflowing with stuff last week and now it’s just crawling on fumes. I wish there was a place to refuel your mind like you do your car, but there’s not. So there’s that.

Let’s see. I have a couple more if/thens to share.

IF your drive thru order is so long you have to put your mini van in park to complete it, THEN you should’ve gone inside.

IF you’re driving your truck down the road with a cigar in one hand and your cell phone up to your ear in the other, THEN you don’t have hands to drive with. WTH are you doing?

IF I break a sweat simply going to the mall to buy some stuff at the Disney Store, THEN I’m not really sure what. Maybe I just needed to share that I broke a sweat going to the Disney Store today.

IF cats are going to lick themselves clean, THEN their bodies should be able to digest the hair they swallow so they don’t throw up on the floor.

You know what’s worse than beating the heck out of yourself for messing something up? Having to sit in a room of your peers and a consultant while he replays the screw up. And, when you’re supposed to be listening to figure out what the “cast” could do to make the break better, you know all along that the bit was just fine had it not been for you. OMG brutal. Not because of anything the others said, but because I’m my own worst critic. I bet you I won’t make the same mistake again, though. Humiliation is great for the memory.

I realized something last Saturday. They always ask if being gay is a choice. I guess trying to fault us for who we love. I have an answer for that. It’s not a choice. I’ve thought this all along, but here’s more proof. I remember having to watch Barney over and over when I was younger because my cousin loved it. I would watch it too, claiming to have a crush on Michael. But I really had a crush on Lucy. I wasn’t old enough to date either at that point, but I knew. And I had feelings for Punky Brewster. And Kelly Kapowski.

Oh, and here's an article I read today. Interesting stuff. Every girl wants her fairytale come true. If you watched the video I linked last night, you know what I'm talking about. I'm not sure how true this is...but I'm assuming that if it's on the internet then it MUST be true. I'm going with it. So should you.

Ten Ways You Know You Have Found "The One"

I’ve heard numerous single clients talking about seeking “the one”. What is “the one” that they are referring to? In my opinion, people mean the person who they feel confident about spending the rest of their life with. I think most people are searching for this kind of person, regardless of what they may tell others. So let’s say you’ve found someone special in your life, how do you know that they are “The One”? Here’s a top ten list to help guide you:

10. The sex is incredible- you have never experienced such intense or frequent orgasms or had the desire for sex in such different positions or locations, you get the point. Fact is, sex is as much mental as physical, so if you’re deeply connected to your partner, the sex will be good.

9. You can talk for hours without being bored- lifelong compatibility is about having a lot of common interests and having good communication.

8. You can be silent for hours without being bored-
even better than good conversation is good silence. It shows that you are truly comfortable together.

7. You lose all sense of logic and reason- you crave to be together all the time or you start thinking about marriage and/or children way before it is socially acceptable. You just feel like you want to dive head first into the relationship and be with your partner always.

6. You can confidently say you have never felt this way before- self explanatory, if other loves paled in comparison to this one, you might have just found true love.

5. You have similar life goals- you both want to start a family or start a business together or go sailing around the world, or whatever. Love alone isn’t enough- you need to have common life goals.

4. When you look into the future, you can see them in your plans-
you find yourself thinking about having a family or being older or moving to another city or starting a new job, and your lover is always there, prominent in your future thoughts.

3. You have the desire to satisfy their needs over and above your own- you are interested in them as people, interested in their dreams and passions, their fears and worries. You want to be there for them and you hold their happiness above your own. For more info on this, look at my “What is Love?” article.

2. You want to share of yourself as much as possible- you can’t wait to introduce them to your friends and family, show them old pictures, and take them to your favorite places.

1. You love and appreciate them for their weaknesses as much as for their strengths
- we all have strengths and weaknesses. However, you don’t feel critical of your partner for any of their weaknesses, in fact you appreciate their differences as being unique characteristics which make them the individuals they are.

Take a look at this checklist. If you find yourself checking off at least 7 or more of these items, you may just have found yourself “The One”! Save yourself the need for sex and couples therapy in the future and make sure you are making a commitment to your true life partner.


  1. Shannon, I loved the video from last night. I cried, watched it a few times, cried more, and decided not to give up on that kind of love ....even at 50 years old and not in the best health. I have never been one to dream about marriage or need it, but with the passing of time I do think about having that connection and growing old with someone. I now want to get married and have that commitment. I also want her to give me a special proposal like the one on the video.

    I wanted to let you know. I read your blogs. I can feel the deep lack of confidence in yourself. I wish there was a way to give someone confidence....but as I have learned (and it took me many years) sometimes it comes with the years. Don't blame yourself so harshly (if you have to blame yourself at all). Try to love yourself and be kind to yourself like you would your best friend. Give yourself credit for being a good and caring person. Find compassion for yourself.

    I wish happiness for you...........and much peace within yourself!


  2. I like your list of ten, with two exceptions: Number 10 and number 7. My reason behind this is from personal experience and a romance study I participated in a few years ago. In the romance study, it showed that it has been scientifically proven that the butterfly feeling of love can only last 24-36 months. So for me, losing all sense of logic and reason isn't a sure sign that this is everlasting love. Two years in, the blinders will come off and you'll be left with someone thinking, "What the hell have I gotten myself into?" Same with sex - most sex is exciting, at first. But then the passion wanes.

    I'm married. I can honestly say that the passion I had for my husband in the beginning is not nearly as strong. We have to work at sex, try to get out of the same routine and comfort zone. When we watch a movie on the couch, my body isn't humming as I wonder if he'll make a move. I'm just hoping he won't fart.

    Basically, my thoughts boil down to this: Take note of your feelings, and know that your gut might be leading you in the right path. But also use your brain. Because when it comes to long-term, long-lasting love, you have to work at it. You can't rely on the feelings and sensations that you had in the beginning. You have to learn to compromise, to respect, to honor, and... not cave into the desire to slap the crap out of your significant other when they inevitably piss you off.


  3. I agree with both of you above on different topics.. I wish you Shannon could see what a wonderful person you are, beautiful, smart and your own little funny.. you have so much to offer, please don't sell yourself short.
    As far as relationship, I agree with Amber. my husband and I have been married for almost 15 years. I can honestly tell you that the thing that truly makes our marriage is our friendship.. the other stuff fades with time but the friendship always remains. :-)