Sunday, January 26, 2014

2014 Grammy's

My thoughts on the 2014 Grammy Awards

Grammy stuff

Beyonce is friggin hot. It’s funny how she and Jay-Z kept everything so hush hush, but I felt the need to tell them to get a room while they were on stage together.

What in the crap was on Lorde’s nails? It looked like she was having convulsions on stage. Is it considered art to seem high as a kite and unable to control your body?

Hunter Hayes songs sound great from the studio, but live…he’s terrible. I’ve yet to see him sound good live.

Daft Punk- WTF is up with the helmets? It’s pretty dumb.

Katy Perry- I don’t know what to say. I love you. I’m physically attracted to you. I don’t understand why you’re with John Mayer, but whatever keeps you hot and making kick a** music is fine with me. You can bring your dancing pole over to my apartment anytime.

Chicago and Robin Thicke- I would much rather see bumping and grinding to your songs that those guys whose plastic surgery is as old as you are on the stage. I feel cheated with your performance. You’re gonna need a do-over.

I strongly dislike Ellen K.

Keith Urban is a pretty, pretty man. If he likes red-heads, I’d like him to dump Nicole Kidman and marry Kellie Rasberry. I don’t know who the guy in the hat is who’s singing with you, but I don’t like him. He’s boring. You had to punch him in the arm to get any kind of emotion from him. That’s just dumb.

John Legend- Love you and the song, but I can’t stand Ellen K. Since she immediately followed you, that’s what I remember. How lame she is. Sorry.

Why are all the nominees for best rock album old guys? Because rock stuff now SUCKS. That’s why I don’t listen to it. Because it sucks.

I bet Taylor Swift’s cell number is nowhere to be found in LL Cool J’s phone.

Taylor Swift sounds really great live , but the headbanging thing doesn’t work for her. I’m always gonna like her because she was so nice when I met her.

Pink. Awesome. Hot. I’d be happy to see her touch the ground occasionally.  And the guy from Fun with a period looks DUMB with that mustache.

Lorde- thank you for seeming a little less strung out during your acceptance speech

Ozzy meltdown on stage? Was it the sunglasses keeping him from reading the screen?

Ringo Starr reminds me of the singer guy in Love Actually. Except I like the guy in Love Actually better.

The best part of Imagine Dragons was Kendrick Lamar. But they keep coming back to this dang Radiactive song.

Kacey Musgraves must be shaking in her dang Christmas lit up boots having to follow Kendrick Lamar with Imagine Dragons on back up vocals and drums.

What’s worse than Paul McCartney taking up valuable Grammy performance time? Paul McCartney doing stuff from the new album.

Seeing Yoko Ono dancing might have made about :07 of this tolerable

Bruno Mars is pretty dang cute. But his Cowboy clothes look is dumb.

This backstage twitter crap is just that. Crap.

I never have understood Willie Nelson. Now I can say I don’t get Chris Christopherson, either. There’s a new generation of country superstars. So let’s let those who require oxygen tanks to stay home and WATCH the Grammy’s.

I’m officially going to say this on the record. I would like to battle Willie Nelson in a sing off. I might actually win.

Kacey Musgraves is pretty gorgeous. I’ve loved her work with JAB…glad to see she’s kicking some booty on her own now.

Is it wrong to refer to Neil Patrick Harris as the man whore of awards shows?

Stevie Wonder actually puts some energy into what he’s doing. So I can deal with him.  That performance was actually pretty dang great.

I’m OK with not hearing Cyndi Lauper talk very often.

I feel partially responsible for Sara Bareilles’ success. I convinced Kidd to let me book her before “Love Song” was a huge hit. This Brave song is greatness. I know Carol King is a legend or whatever, but she doesn’t belong on the stage with Sara. Sara outsings her by miles!!!

Do you think Lorde still dreams of driving a Cadillac?

Jared Leto is a very pretty man, too.

I used to be terrified of the lead singer for Metallica. He scared the crap out of me. Now he’s cut his hair and isn’t near what I remember. I’m not scared anymore. Even if he is still kind of angry sounding. That piano guy looks way too happy for this angry song.

How long is this show going to be on?

You think in 20 years Justin Bieber will be on that stage as a classic, never to be forgotten artist?

Steven Tyler might have been a tad awkward up there, but he’s such a friggin nice guy. I can’t say a bad word about him.

Daft Punk needs to figure out some method of winning an award other than just standing there wasting my damn time.

Hello Queen Latifah. Is this where she comes out of the closet? Follow in Jodie Foster’s footsteps???

Perhaps I’m biased, but I believe that Macklemore sets the bar for artists these days.

I thought Queen Latifah would get married. This is freaking awesome. I don’t know I feel about Madonna’s outfit, but it’s cool to see her there as part of this.

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