Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Forgive my mess ups. But here ya go...as promised

Hi there. It's been a while. Bear with me when it comes to typos, repeating myself, and sounding like a cracked out idiot. I pretty much am.

As a recap I found out in October that I was born with a tumor. A rare tumor that was stuck between the brain stem and cerebellum, right around my 5th nerve. Dr. Dickerman told us it was a tumor that 1 in something people are born with, but I've forgotten the number. I didn't realize the severity of this thing until after the fact. At least the severity of the surgery. The tumor was benign and is gone. It was just in a really bad spot. One little slip to the left and I would have lost sight. One little slip to the right and I would lose hearing. Thankfully, I had the best neurosurgeons, wire guy, and other operating room people around. I truly mean that. They got the tumor out and now I'm on the road to recovery.

My neurosurgeon says that I'm doing really well. But let's face it. I had brain surgery. They cut into my head and went into my brain with tools and stuff. That's a pretty bug deal. I had the surgery on November 11, stayed in ICU for a few days, a regular room one or two days ( I think), and they let me go. Yeah!

I'm able to walk, talk, see, hear, touch, smell and everything else. Life is very weird and hard for me right now. I'm not handling this patience thing well. At all. I'm very frustrated. My surgery was a 100% success. But I'm on meds that have weird side effects. And I'm having migraines and having a hard time keeping food down and my vision is blurry and my coordination is pretty horrid. Luckily, I have a walker, so I can walk and not fall over. I'm not driving. I can barely get through the house without walking into a wall or tripping over my feet, so just be grateful I'm not on the road. There is no risk of seizures, but with my dizziness and nausea and other stuff, I just have no business taking a cross country road trip right now. And, unfortunately, I have no business going to see my sister in Maui over Christmas. That one sucks pretty bad. But I've always been a klutz. Knowing me, I would try and paddle board or something and break my head open. I bet that would hurt in salt water. So maybe I  will goo over spring break.

I was back in the ICU or CCU last week. My head was leaking and my neurosurgeon told me to go to the ER to have it checked. They admitted me pretty quickly because you can't risk infection with something like this. I was on IV antibiotics and all the other meds. I went in on Saturday and got out on Thursday, I think. I don't know what day it is now, so don't hold me to those days of the week.

How much does brain surgery cost, you ask??? A little over $145,000 to be exact. How much last weeks stay in ICU is gonna run will soon be known. They're quick to let you know when you owe them money.

Speaking of, seeing as how I'm not working at the moment, you guys have TRULY saved my butt with the fund you set up for me. Short term disability apparently does back pay. I wasn't saving up for living expenses and hospital bills, so I've been using the money from the fund you guys set up to live off of while I wait for disability to kick in. You literally have covered my rear and I'm so incredibly grateful for that.

I'm staying with my parents house still. I'm not very good on my own at the moment. It's just a matter of giving my body time and being patient with the healing process. My neuro said that when air hits the brain, it takes anywhere from 6 months to a year to be "normal" again. I guess luckily I've never been normal, so maybe my time will be cut shorter.

Crying has become my hobby. This is so not me. One day I went to the doctor thinking it was something simple and the next I have two guys digging in my skull. I don't miss work. I don't depend on people to meet my needs. But that's all changed. Now that's exactly who I am and it stings. What if the show is better without me? It's scary to think about. I've spent a lot of time coloring to work out my hand-eye coordination. Scooby-Doo was my favorite book. I colored the whole thing, so I'm moved onto the Ninja Turtles. They're the giant books so I can stay somewhat in the lines if I outline them. I've made some wreath ornaments. I have a Rainbow loom thing, but I don't get it.

I'm very frustrated with my memory. It's pretty bad, but it has nothing to do with the surgery sort of. Maybe that air in the head thing contributes. But it's probable more the meds I'm on. Apparently I asked someone the same question 6 times and I don't recall any of them. I won't even get into how bad my thinking is these days because it's upsetting to me. But in the long term I will be fine and I'm very fortunate.

So, I guess that's that for now. My head is hurting pretty bad, so I've gotta get my bed set up to sleep at a 45* angle and go to bed. I don't know the specifics of when I will feel better or when I will be back at work, but it will be as soon as I can do what I do well. And, if you care, Kellie Rasberry has been fantastic throughout all of this. She came to the hospitals and has come to see me at my parents house and calls and texts. I'm very blessed to have people like her in my life. My friends and mom and dad have been great in helping me. My Aunt Terry is willing to drive a really long way to help. I'm just recognizing the amount of people in my life who care and I'm so fortunate. And I cannot and would not end this without another huge thanks to you guys for the non-stop support and prayers. I know it's not fun reading posts from the girl who had brain surgery and is recovering. I don't enjoy being that girl one bit. But you stick with me and send soooo many messages of support. It's truly overwhelming. I will do a better job of reading and replying to you guys when things are a little bit easier for me. Now I'm gonna take it a step at a time and master the art of which Ninja Turtle is which. And color them accordingly.

Much love to all of you. And a huge thank you.

Love,
Shanon

67 comments:

  1. Shannon thank you for sharing this scary and painful journey with us. God Bless you and you should never feel like you have to apologize or explain to us why your words may jumble or whatever else. You are brave and amazing and a hell of an inspiration. Take good care of you and we are all here cheering you on, sending prayers and love. I cannot wait until you are back on the radio. Love ya!!

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    1. I agree. AND the show is NOT better without you - it is The Show and they are great, but they are MUCH better with Psycho Shannon keeping them together! You are learning patience with yourself - THE hardest thing to learn! Love to you and your family - you will be back better than ever and we love you!!

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    2. Shanon, you are so incredibly brave....My heart aches for you and the horrible things you are dealing with right now. I have been praying and praying for you just hoping that things will turn around and you will be on the top of that recovery road. I miss you being on the show, and NO the show is not better without you.....you are missed every second that show is on. Take care of yourself, and don't be to hard on yourself. We only want to see you back to work and doing well. I will continue to pray for you. Take care and color one of those Ninja Turtles purple for me!! Much love and hugs, Cheryl Long

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    3. It's always great to hear what you have to say, Shanon!! ...but, we understand that you can't get on here everyday and type a lot. We want you to get better, that's all that matters!! There is no KKITM without Psycho Shanon...period! Take all the time that you need...everyone will be here when you're better, no worries!! Big hugs, Jennie!!

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  2. Shannon, You are doing an awesome job. All that frustration stuff, is normal after brain surgery. So you are right where you are supposed to be in all of this, and on the road to recovery. Biggest hugs to you. My son Connor Doran and I send you our best. He deals with brain stuff too as he has Epilepsy. We get it.. and we are thinking of you, and sending good thoughts your way.
    Sincerely,
    Amy and Connor Doran
    www.connordoran.com

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    1. Shannon, thanks for this matter-of-fact, to the point...beautifully written letter from you. It is so personal that I feel like you are just speaking to me! You have talent in expressing yourself so well. Hugs and prayers from me in Florence, SC:) BLowe

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  3. Hey Shanon I have an odd request but for my brother's birthday he asked people to donate to you. He has met you and his waiting on a kidney transplant himself and is all too familiar with the fun medical expenses. I was wondering if you could send him one of your pictures you worked on coloring? I know it might seem weird but he would love it. He is a fan and he would be happy to have a Shanon original for Christmas.

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    1. Sure. Just send me the info. shanon@yeanetworks.com. And tell him thanks so much.

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  4. Thank you for sharing and wishing you a speedy recovery!!

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  5. your very loved. I pray daily for you. your a great person. it's amazing what you've been thru and you have to learn it takes time for the body to heal. I've had to learn this too. just know prayers and love is going out to you.. (((hugs)))

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  6. Thinking of you always! Hang in there, Kiddo! Much love to ya!

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  7. Shannon, you are such a source of inspiration to me and others who are reading about your journey. Any brain surgery is a major surgery and requires a long recovery period. Try to be patient and give yourself time to "fully" recover from the surgery you just had and don't worry about how you sound or act, in the meantime. Remember..."Those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind"! You remain in my heart, thoughts and prayers. :)

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  8. Thinking about you Shannon, thank you for the updates! It's amazing how the body heals but yes, we need patience :) Much love from Honolulu, I miss you on the show!

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  9. Shannon you are truly an inspiration and I pray for you everyday! You don't have to apologize for anything because you're doing the best that you can! Oh and trust me when I say the show is not better off without you! We all miss you and can't wait until you're back on it! Much love, Monique!

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  10. Dear Shanon, I wish you a very speedy recovery and am keeping you in my prayers. You are dealing with this much better than most of us would. Good luck and hang in there.

    love,
    maria :)

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  11. You did a great job with the post! Don't doubt yourself.
    I really do miss you on the show and I know that that they are waiting for your return. I knew Kellie was going to be there for you, she was so concerned. She seems like a wonderful person.
    I know that brain surgery is a hard thing to go through...a friend of mine went through it a little while ago. It does take a bit to recover from and she had the same setback you did but she is recovering well now just like you. You made it through great and you are on the road to recovery which is a blessing!!!
    I will stop babbling now. Miss you on the show and will be excited when you return. Take care of yourself but take it easy. Prayers always, Leslie

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  12. You are a true warrior Shannon! My daughter has MS and the entire medical arena is both amazing and then frustrating all at the same time. I am so happy you have wonderful caring parents. Just keep taking one hour at a time and it might be slow going but there is a light at then end of your journey. And Kidd is keeping that light lit for you. And your angel on earth (Kellie) will be by your side. I can't even imagine how scary this has all been for you but God and all of us are rooting for you every single day.

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  13. im sure many people agree with me when i say i actually look for ur updates bc i want to know whats going on especially since i dont live in the DFW area right now its kinda like normal ish if i were home and listening to the morning show now. so dont think that your a burden posting these updates, i honestly appreciate them so please dont stop.

    I also want to wish u a speed recovery and hopefully everything gets better sooner rather then later.

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  14. You are so kind and good and you have given us so much of yourself throughout the years, so, you deserve this rest and recuperation period. We will be here whenever you return. We love you and trust in God.

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  15. Dear one, even in times of incredible challenges, you still make us smile. Your keen wit and sense of humor have always been a part of the magic of the morning show. Personally, I would like to donate to the "Shanon" fund so I hope you will make that available to the listeners. Hospital bills, doctor bills, surgeon bills, meds...don't come cheap and you have many challenges ahead...set up the account so listeners can bring a little peace of mind to you! Prayers and the loving touch of all angels be with you!

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    1. HI The site to donate is https://www.youcaring.com/shanon_murphy it goes through paypal directly to Shanons personal account

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  16. Shannon you are amazing and wonderful, stay strong and motivated, keep your eye's on bigger things, I suffered severe TBI from Afghanistan and I feel we have a close connection with our struggles you are strong and I can tell from your blog, be the amazing person you want to be and you will be just fine!!!!! I'm right here with ya!!!!!!!!

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  17. You are truly an inspiration, Shanon. I can not imagine the pain you are going through and it looks as if you are handling it all so well! After moving to NM a few years back I am no longer able to listen to the show on my way to work now but I do try and follow ya'll on FB and YouTube any chance I get. You were and still are my fav on the show! Best wishes and prayers! <3

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  18. The letter was great! Hope you get to feeling better way sooner than expected... Stay sweet!!!

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  19. Love you are keeping us updated. Sorry you are having such a difficult time. Praying for you. My 4year old can help you out with the ninja turtles. He knows everything about them. He prefers the 80's turtles rather than the current ones!

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  20. SO many people are praying for you Shannon and I'm so glad to hear that you have an amazing support team ~ Just take it slow, be in no hurry with anything. I know it sucks to not get to see your sis in Maui, but you'll be there soon enough with a new noggin and feeling great!! You continue to be in my prayers! Big hugs

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  21. Hugs Shanon, hang in there, take it day by day, and all those other clichés. Only need to remember one thing...we luv ya!

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  22. Hugs and love, Shanon. Day by dad!

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    1. * day by DAY! (see, and I didn't even have brain surgery!! :)

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  23. we should set up funds for other people too; not just for radio personalities.

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  24. Thank you for opening your life up to us Shanon! I appreciate the updates and continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

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  25. You CoLor Those Ninja tUrtles Whatever Color You Want! <3

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  26. Shanon, you are beautiful and wonderful and I pray that each day gets a little easier for you in some way. God bless you!

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  27. I was in a coma six years ago so I can understand a lot of what you're going through. You will come back, you will need to be patient, The drugs are going to affect you long past this recovery period but everything will be okay. Balance trying to push through and resting, rest is one of the most important things for your body and your brain right now. Also would recommend adding all of the good brain foods to your diet if you haven't already :) Blue berries and avocado are two I know of off the top of my head.

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  28. Baby steps, you have time now to learn patience and what its like to have friends and family that will do anything for you...smile each day and be thankful that you can. You will come back stronger than ever.

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  29. Thank you so much for keeping us updated! My husband had an aneurysm rupture at 25 years old and is a totally different person now (not better or worse, just different). He still has problems with his memory and that's ok. That's been 6 years ago and I still love him just as much as the day we married. He too would get really frustrated and irritated with is memory and speech. You'll totally bounce back from all this being the rockstar you are! Don't worry about the dates/typo's etc...Most of us don't know the date without a calendar (at least I know I don't, haha), and we all have typo's without having brain surgery! So proud of you and keeping you in my prayers!

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  30. You are such a trooper! People who have rain surgery usually can't write/type stories this good so soon! You go girl, I love to hear your updates and how you are doing...Praying for a quick and pain easing recovery! You ROCK Shanon!

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  31. Thanks for updating us!! I could not even imagine what you are going through! But you are making it through. And maybe witnessing to others without realizing it! It's funny how mean people are in the world until someone is going through something so horrifically horrifying and we all step up to help! I hope you start to feeling better especially the nausea (three times pregnant, I KNOW that blah-ness)!

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  32. Thinking of you Shanon. You are the third person I know to have had brain surgery this year for a tumor you were born with. Yours has been the most severe of the three. Keep on keepin on. You will get there. Remember slow and steady wins the race!!!!

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  33. I am so happy that you are doing so well, (at least as far as brain surgery goes). I am glad to hear that Kelli is there for you and that you have such caring people in your life. Keep looking up (cause that's where It all is) You are strong. You WILL do fine!

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  34. I'm so glad you came through with no permanent problems from the surgery. The side effects of the meds are temporary and eventually you'll feel like your old self again!

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  35. You never need to worry that the should may be better without you-- it is definitely at its best with YOU there. Rest up and color those turtles!

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  36. Shanon, I know how hard brain surgery is in a difficult part of the brain. My mother had a ruptured aneurysm and it is a very long recovery process. The leaking spinal fluid is also no joke. Tanner (KK 2005) had 8 surgeries in a 1yr time frame and had leaking spinal fluid and was on IV antibiotics for a month and a half b/c of infection. You seem to be doing fabulously well. You are an inspiration to so many. I pray for you specifly every day. Keep your chin up and know the show is definitely NOT better off without you. We have to have our Psycho Shanon ;) We love you.

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  37. SO glad to hear such a wonderful update. Keep rockin' it, girl. Time will fly faster than you realize and life will be back to normal. Except you'll be living it better.
    We love and support you and of course are praying for you!! kick those ninja turtle's artistic butts!!

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  38. Thank you for the update Shanon. I like your comments about the people who have shown care and support to you. We tend to think we really don't need anyone but it's pretty nice to realize we do and its kinda nice and not a bad thing :) Love and light to you!

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  39. I think you are so awesome to share your journey with us. You are missed on the show and can't wait for the day to hear your voice on the show again. I love that you still have your sense of humor. Praying for you everyday. Take care of yourself. God Bless you!

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  40. Beautifully written!!! Praying for you daily & thank you for the update!! I do want to add that mastering of knowing which Ninja Turtle is which is a hard thing to do with or without brain surgery!! So if you get it mastered let me in on the secret cuz after all these years I still don't know who is who!! Be Blessed

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  41. so happy to hear your doing better yes it takes a lot of patience many years ago my mother had brain surgery for an aneurysm she had a full recovery but it took a long time to walk talk do all the other things that she always was used to doing so hang in there it's going to get better check I know how it is I don't have any patience myself but in times like this that's all we have

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  42. Do not worry about all of us!!! Take care of yourself! God bless!

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  43. Sending prayers, I had the same brain tumor in 10/92, I am fine and do have memory struggles but it may also be the ADD... It took me 6 years to stop going back to the DR to make sure it was all gone and now 100% better. It is hard but you are strong and will get through it. Have a Merry Christmas.

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  44. Shannon, you are such a tender loving girl.... I know is hard, But I thank the LORD, #1, for you, #2 that the tumor is benign, #3 because even tho this is a hard tme for you, you still take the time to keep us informed, The show will never be better with out you.... YOu are part and always will be part of Kidd Kradick in the morning.
    Hang in there, we LOVE you and miss you. Continuing to pary for you. Please let us know if there any thing that we can do for you. LOVE YOU .....

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  45. Shannon, You are doing great! Just keep your head up. I had a brain tumor in the 4th ventricle, I had surgery March 2012 to remove it. Mine was benign also. Dr. Dickerman was my neurosurgeon also! He is the greatest! I had a spinal fluid leak 3 weeks after surgery and had to spend 8 days in the hospital and have a lumbar drain to relieve pressure. It is difficult to get through but you are strong and you can do it. The memory problems will get better, but Dr Dickerman is absolutely right about it taking 6 months to a year to fully recover. It took atleast 6 months for my memory to get better, I think a lot of it has to do with the drugs. As for emotional recovery it takes a long time. When you get to feeling better physically everyone will expect that you are all better. You will be emotional about your recovery for a long time and no one can understand that unless they have been through it themselves. I recommend a support group. I am a member of an online support group for Ependymoma survivors. It is nice to have people who understand exactly what you are going through. You are in my thought s and prayers. Take advance of your support system. That is what they are for. Don't be afraid to ask for help, they love you that is why they are supporting you, so let them!! Stay strong! You've got this!

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  46. I admire your bravery not only for going through such a scary surgery but for putting yourself and your experiences out there. Not an easy thing to do by any means. The impact of your voice can greatly change people's lives for the better. We all so easily forget what is truly important. Props to Dr. Dickerman. He is an amazing neurosurgeon....Nancy

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  47. Praying for a speedy recovery. BTW doctors at Childrens Dallas found the same thing in my then 15 year old daughter two years ago. They have decided to watch it's growth. Last time we were in...maybe last year there was no change. Advised it is best not to operate until the time is right.

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  48. Thanks for the update! Praying for you and love love love your spirit and spunk as always! Elle

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  49. Shanon... Thank you for the update... Sorry that you are having a difficult time... But as you said, you had brain surgery. That is major and will take time to get back into the "normal" swing of things. My mom had an aneurysm when I was a kid that ruptured in her brain... She had a 2‰ chance of survival and if she survived she was told she would be a vegetable... She did survive and is not a vegetable... They also told her she wouldn't live past 45yrs of age... She just had her 60th bday last month. She has epilepsy due to her first brain surgery... Since then she has found out she has two more aneurysms... One was coiled and the other is on her brain stem and is inoperable... After her open brain surgery in '89, it did take her a while to recover....I guess my point is, you are right... It is going to take some time to get back to normal and the road to recovery isn't easy.... You can't always go by what the doctors tell you, apparently not in my mom's case. You are a strong person with a strong will as is my mother... I have faith that you will be just fine... I will continue to pray for your recovery and return to work.. The show is great but never think it is better without you.... It is great but even better with you there. Get well stay strong and God Bless!

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  50. Praying for you, girl. Really appreciate you keeping us all in the loop. Rest and the rest will take care of itself.

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  51. You are a strong person and we can't wait to have you back on the radio, Still praying for you, All love sent your way.

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  52. Praying for a speedy recovery!! You are an integral part of the show we love u!

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  53. I realize you are going through a tough time, but thank you so much for sharing your story. I have been struggling with the blood clot I got from riding cross country after a sprained ankle (don't do that btw). Now my schedule is filled with doctors appointments and ER visits. It's nice to hear from someone who can empathize. I hope you recover soon. My S.O. who has dealt with health problems all his life has helped a lot. Hopefully you are getting a lot of help too.

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  54. Keep up the fight Shanon. You are truly courageous and an inspiration to many. My blessings to you!

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  55. The show will never be better without you, I've heard all kinds of things, including some dead air, since you've been gone. I don't know who they have working the board but we need you back. Hang in there and take care of your awesome self. Please don't ever forget how much you are loved and cherished by so many of us. Big hugs!

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  56. In case you would like to help Shanon out the link to her fundraising page is https://www.youcaring.com/shanon_murphy the donations are done through PayPal and go directly to her personal PayPal account. Thanks

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  57. We are praying for a speedy recovery. My 5 year old says the show isn't the same without you and he hopes you feel better and fast♥

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