Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Watch out for the wolf!

I guess I will start this blog in a lighthearted manner with some things to think about if you live in an apartment.

1.     Tap dance lessons on carpet are still tap dance lessons. Your downstairs neighbor can hear you. At least go tap in the parking lot.
2.     Be conscious of the food you cook. It is unpleasant for me to walk in my door and think that maybe you are painting your walls in stinky food. No amount of scented wax can cover it up. Just FYI.
3.     If you have careless kids in the car with you, open their door for them. That way they don’t slam their door into my car. That I pay for. Teach them respect and the value of other people’s property. I’m still not over the ding in my door.
4.     When taking a SLOW stroll around the complex, move out of the dang way if a car is coming. Yes, pedestrians have the right of way. But there is no considerate reason for you to walk in the center of the parking lot with your kid running around like a crazy person, making it impossible to pass. I cuss at you for this.
5.     I spray for bugs in my apartment like a crazy person. I’m not the OCD cleaning lady most of the time, but my apartment is clean-ish. So it really upsets me when unclean people live around me and I run into an occasional disgusting bug in the hallway. One even came in my apartment before.
6.     Yes. Lauren Hill was cool when I was about 7. It’s 2013. Find something new. I swear if I hear that song one more time I might get a little crazy.

I guess that’s all I have on that subject for now.

And for my gays who were at the Pride parade this weekend. Here’s a few notes for you.

1.     You can duck down behind as many cars as you want. Pot still stinks. So do it in your own space.
2.     I get that it’s hot. But I don’t want to see or accidentally rub up against your butt hanging out, belly hanging over, rainbow panties or undies or whatever those guys wear. So drink some water and understand that tens of thousands of people are in a small space. Your skin is dirty to me. Keep it to yourself.
3.     Yelling vulgar things at us does not entice us to throw you a 25-cent pair of beads. It makes me want to punch you in the throat. Go pay a stripper to show you her boobs. I only do that when it’s for a bit. Idiots.

I guess that’s all I have to say about that.

Amber posted or said something the other day that has played in my head over and over and over. Plain and simple. Haters are gonna hate. That’s a harsh reality to face in life. But you know what? Suck it up and do it.  Accept the fact that not everyone in this life is going to see the positive in you. They’re going to be blinded by outside influences or just sheer bitterness in their heart and use you as the target to let out some of their self-hate. I know this because I’ve done it. Many times before. But then I grew up.

There’s a lot to be said for developing a mature state of mind. Just because you turn 18 doesn’t mean you’re mature. Or 21. Or 30 for that matter. There is no specific set life event that takes you from a simple-minded person to a mature one.  I’ve seen 14 year olds who have more maturity than any adult I’ve met. Which is sad for both. A 14 year old should be worried about boys or girls and text messages and stupid stuff like that. It’s pretty sad the way that life turns out for some people, but that’s the hand we’re dealt.

I was doing something yesterday in my apartment and had Teen Mom or 16 and Pregnant on in the background. And I’m listening to these people who have produced the future of our world taking their baby daddy to court over Tweets. A dad with a newborn misses two months of his babies life because he’s gotta go to rehab to kick his drug habit. It’s especially sad to me after seeing my sister and brother in law lose their baby boy. I don’t know if rehab worked or not. If it did, then good for him for doing what he needed to do in an effort to be a potentially better dad. If not, what a waste of a gift from God. Seriously. Shame on him for missing out on that time because he was wasting it at a facility.

Anyway, my mind is moving faster than my fingers can type. Back to the whole haters thing. I was thinking about this today while I was standing in a really long line at the store. The lady in front of me had a toddler in the little booster seat thingy you strap kids into. The kid was upset over something the kid the next line over said. And the mom did nothing to console her kid. And then after the husband came to the checkout line, she stopped the checker from doing what she needed to and told her husband about the adorable fit their kid just threw. On spec I didn’t like these people. I know nothing about them. And frankly it didn’t matter to me. Actions speak louder than words and this mothers actions just seemed unreal to me. Next thing I know I get to my car and who comes to the truck next to me? This mom, dad, and daughter. I turn my car on and get ready to back out. Reverse lights on. I see the mom look at the back of my car. It would make sense to pick up the daughter, get out of my way, and let me leave. But she didn’t do this. Instead she lets the kid rub up against my car, opens the driver side door and the back door thing, waits for the kid to climb in, lets the kid play in the truck for a minute, puts her in her seat, the readjusts the front seat, fixes the lanyard that held her keys, leaves the doors open, walks to the back of the truck, waits for the husband to return the basket. THEN she walks around, doors still open, and I have to wait for the husband to get in, put his seatbelt on, and close the doors.

During this inconsideration, I posted on my Facebook that I’m out of patience for the day. I was a little upset with myself for getting so irritated by complete strangers. But at the same time, common courtesy goes a seriously long way. They even tried to back out before I did! But I made sure that didn’t happen.

The point of that story is that I didn’t even give these people a chance to prove that they could be considerate. And honestly, why would I? I don’t know them. I’ve never seen them before and will likely never see them again. I cannot possibly get to know the millions of people in this country. So should I feel guilty for judging them the way that I did?

I guess it’s different when a stranger shows blatant disregard for you versus someone you have regular contact with. Maybe it’s a friend of a friend. Like Bridesmaids. Annie didn’t really give Helen a real chance to prove herself until the end of the movie. And to some degree Helen deserved what she got. She made it pretty obvious that she was trying to belittle Annie. So yeah, you get what you give in that scenario. But what about people who decide they don’t like you based on nothing? I know that in the job I’m in people are going to hate. And honestly that’s perfectly OK with me. I would much rather be loved or hated than have people feel indifferent about me. But in my little world, where I’m trying to be the best person I can be and I’m still not given a chance, it sucks. But at the same time it drives me. Is that a sick, cyclical way of living life? To try and gain the respect of people who have zero reason to deny you that in the first place? Wasted energy? It’s like beating your head against a wall and the wall just won’t give. Very frustrating.

I guess that’s just life. And you really have to look at it this way…if you’re worthy of this thought process. It’s their loss. I know what I have to offer. I know what I want to give. The only thing in this world that I have any amount of control over is myself. And staying calm and rational so that I don’t give the haters a reason to hate. I’m better than that, right?

Social media is such a blessing and a curse. It keeps us in touch with people near and far. We can check up on our loved ones without them knowing we do it. But it’s also a whole new way of spreading hate. It’s strange how one single message from a person can change everything. For better or for worse. Facebook brought Amber into my life. Yea that. But Facebook also opens up everyone’s world to whatever words some coward chooses to type. I’ve been threatened, harassed, hurt, blessed, and all other types of things through social media. I guess you have to take the bad with the good, but man does it SUCK at times.

I guess the moral of this long thing is to keep in mind the power of your words. And the power of your silence. Follow your gut when it comes to the people you allow in your world. As horrible as it is, there are a lot of people in our lives who have been wolves in sheep’s clothing for a long time. It’s what we know and learn to accept as familiar. And maybe we even allow them to make us a little bit of a wolf, too. Familiar does not equal right. Change is scary, but sometimes when you open your eyes and see who you allow to stand in front of you, you realize what you’re missing out on by allowing them that space. It’s hard to earn people’s respect, but it’s impossible when you’re not even given the opportunity. But that’s a lesson I’ve learned throughout my years and, in my opinion, a sign of true maturity. Because, after all, when someone shows you who they are, you should just go on and believe them. A wolf will hunt down its prey and take down everything and everyone in its path. So it’s up to us to avoid them altogether.

And I guess that’s all I have to say about that.



  1. I have come into contact with many wolves in my life and it unfortunately I had to take extra steps to learn how to deal with those kind of people. It was the best decision I ever made and have no guilt for avoiding them now. I am glad you do the same!

  2. Well, at the risk of posting this again because I wrote it earlier & it doesn't look like it took, here goes.

    I have listed to you on the radio for a while and always felt like you had more to say, I'm glad to finally have the chance to "hear" it because what you say has substance.

    You did give the family a chance to be considerate, in the store the mom had the chance with her child to be considerate of the child's feelings instead of just assuming the child did not have valid emotions that deserved to be addressed, and another chance in the parking lot when with some simple awareness of their surroundings they could have easily noticed you were waiting to back out and waited accordingly. Wow, that was a crazy run on sentence...

    I agree with social media being a blessing and a curse also. The same medium that is allowing me to communicate with you is also the one that allows people to bully others and feel safe doing it. I teach my kids to watch what they say, and especially write, because once it's said it can never be taken back and once it's written, well, it's out there forever, somewhere, no matter how much you try to delete it. This is why no matter how much my 11 yr old begs I refuse to let him have a Facebook page. He's a mature kid and all but not nearly emotionally grown enough to manage that type of interaction.

    Try not to let people have too much free rent in your head for too long. It costs them nothing but costs you everything. On that note, please keep your passion though. Don't dismiss everything as "that's just how the world is". You are in a position to make a difference and few of us are. You may not feel like it, but you are. You have thousands of ears that like to hear you and those of us who care and who respect you are the ones who matter.

    Thanks again for taking the time to share your thoughts, I enjoy reading.

  3. I'd like to add a few things that might be of some help when dealing with "inconsiderates" ... first and most importantly realize that you can control nothing but yourself. So do just that... do what you know is right and don't try to understand why they are the way they are, that being said don't infringe your values, morals or ideas into the way you think people should act. At first, you will feel a bit weird then a bit selfish, but later after a while you will begin to be more at ease. I know it sounds crazy but except for the part about the kid running around, everything else can be justified to them.
    Consider that they returned the basket, as to not hit cars, left the doors open to let out the hot air while the a/c cooled. Double checked the child seat harness, made sure everyone was buckled and checked mirrors for safety. Sounds sane now doesn't it. But the insanity came from you being in a hurry, a hurry to leave and to judge.
    Secondly, you work in radio, there is power in voice. What kept you from politely asking if you could get by? I assumed the fear of being judged as insensitive or inconsiderate? So what? You can't control their thoughts so why try? All they can say is no, but with everyone wanting to be seen as considerate the likelyhood of that is slim.
    Third Fb is the same as any other form of being social. If you get in an arguement you can always walk away, ignore it or fight. There isn't anything that holds us to take someones crap or lies. That's why people get blocked. Its up to you to choose to be hurt or believe what is out there. You're stronger and smarter then that.
    Lastly, you're incorrect a wolf does not take anything down but the weakest of prey, if you remember that the wolves will avoid you.

    1. Thanks for putting so much thought into your reply to what I wrote. But I choose to challenge you on a couple of your points. My values, morals, and ideas dictate the way I live my life. I am just as human as anyone else, so yes. I'm going to have an opinion on the way that other people live their lives. I don't have to agree with everything that everyone does. And if they wanted to cool off the car, they could have just as easily done it from the other side of the truck. The side where there was nobody next to them. Common sense goes a long way. And it irritates the crap out of me when people refuse to exercise it.

      As far as the Facebook messages go, I thought that I had banned said people. But somehow they managed to get to me. I'm aware that banning is an option and I thought I had done it. I guess I did it wrong. Lesson learned.

      And yeah a wolf will go after the weak. But it's not like there's always a straight line to that person. We don't live alone in this world. Most of us have at least someone in our lives who cares about us. So when someone else falls victim to a POS person, it effects those around them as well. And yes. We can all put up a fight. But it can be exhausting. And goodness knows that there's plenty of other stuff in this world to worry about other than crappy people who care about no one but themselves.

      Anyway, have a great day. Thanks for taking the time to read my blog and comment. I appreciate being made to think other ways.


  4. I am so glad I found your blog...funny enough, through Facebook. Really just wanted to say that I really loved this post. It actually hit very close to home and was something that spoke to me. I felt like it was something I was supposed to read/find. I just re-read that sentence to see that it reads kinda creeper-y LOL. Oh well ;) Just saying I loved what you said. I have far too long accepted the "wolves" in my world and just could never fully "accept" that they are indeed wolves in sheep clothing. In the past few weeks I have slowly been making the change in my life to keep these people where they belong, away from my world. Now this is turning into blabber...haha. Have a great day :)