I'm going to start writing on this site and just posting the link on Facebook. And...BEWARE. This might make me look like a gross, disgusting person. I probably shouldn't write this, but I tell you everything else. So why leave this out? We will lead into the gross...
1. I had a rough day yesterday. I'm sorry that I put it all out there earlier today. Monday's suck as it is. So to log on and see my whiny little blog post was probably a beat down. I apologize for that. Today was much better. I did my Insanity workout, cleaned up the spilled hot chocolate in my car, vacuumed out the crumbs that Keith (a boy) probably didn't leave, but I will blame him anyway, did load after load of laundry, and now I'm finishing up The Bachelor.
2. What I'm about to write might make you look at me in a whole new light. Or might make you never want to look at me again. I don't know. But I feel like I need to tell this.
So I have digestive issues. Always have. One time when I was younger I got so constipated they thought I was having an appendicitis. So my mom had to rush me to the ER just so they could give me ExLax and an IV. Anyway, just setting the scene, it's always been an issue for me.
As part of this Insanity thing I've been doing, I've been drinking tons of water. I drink it by the liter and today I'm on number 7 or 8. It has been helping with my digestive issues...maybe a little too much. I'm not about to tell you any Al Roker stories about sharting myself. This might be worse though. I don't know.
Here goes. Today I had to use the bathroom. And since I don't go often, I had to go a lot. And I didn't realize it when I should have. I failed to do the courtesy flush. So when I finished up, I went to flush the toilet and everything didn't want to go down. And the water kind of backed up a little bit. No big deal. Most of the gross was gone. Now it was mostly water with some grossness in it. I grabbed the plunger and saw that the water had receeded some, so why not try and flush it again. BAD IDEA.
The water started rising fast and furiously. I stuck the plunger in there and the extra mass in the toilet was more than the bowl could hold. So the water with the grossness in it started overflowing. There was nothing I could do. I grabbed towels to catch the water so that it didn't make it's way off of the laminate flooring and near the carpet. I was successful. But I had toxic water puddles in my bathroom. Disgusting.
I think I shed a tear or two just because the OCD in me couldn't handle it. I got my heavy duty cleaning gloves and cleaned up the water as best as I could. I threw the towels away because I don't want to dry my body with that crap! Literally.
I was humiliated and nobody but me knew it happened. I have since thrown the towels in the dumpster, the dumpster has been emptied, and the gross is long gone. I have scrubbed my bathroom floor with tears streaming down my cheeks and snot running down my lip and Clorox wipes in my hand. I probably went through about 30 of those today. I don't think any of the poopy water made it anywhere I haven't scrubbed and the floor didn't cave in on the people below me. Thank goodness. But I'm that person who apparently can't use the potty without flooding the place. Oops.
I hope you're still with me. Again, I'm humiliated by the fact that this happened and I'm probably stupid for sharing. But come on. At the end of the day, we're all human. And like the book says "Everybody poops." Some just more than others I suppose.