Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Just an update...

Another blog that’s been too long since the last one. I’m sorry about that. It’s been a blur lately and I’ve had a hard time making sense of things.

We can start with the obvious. We are trying to keep KKITM a show that Kidd would be proud to have his name on. It’s a lot different these days. I’m not saying different is bad. It’s just different. I had 14 years to “get” Kidd. And I think I had the man down pretty well. Now I’m trying to “get” the flow of a show without Kidd. Honestly, I think we’ve been doing a pretty decent job. Of course I’ve screwed up about 700 times already, but I’m trying and I can assure you that the other people in that studio are trying, too. Just be patient with us as we try and find our way in a world that used to have a super fancy, updated, top of the line navigation system built in. Now we are driving with a Mapsco, but as a team we are going to find a way.

I guess all I can really say is that the messages of love and support have been completely overwhelming. And that’s putting it lightly. The truth is that none of us or anyone else could ever fill Kidd’s shoes. That’s not what we’re trying to do. Kidd was a visionary in the radio industry. There are some radio sites that have tributes written about Kidd and how he has changed the entire path of morning radio. I knew he was great at what he did, but I didn’t understand the depths of it until after his passing. So now that the show carries on, all we can hope to do is follow the lessons that he taught us. We all knew that Kidd would retire one day, but we didn’t know that he would suddenly pass away. So while we mourn the loss of our leader, co-worker, and for a lot of us family member, we try and see the light at the end of the tunnel and do a radio show that you still want to listen to everyday. Growing pains SUCK, but they’re a necessary evil. I jut want to say thank you for your continued support of us individually and as a show. We’re gonna make Kidd proud….hopefully while you listen.

I’m going to cuss in the next sentence, so close your eyes or whatever if that offends you. Life has been a shit storm lately. I’m not telling you this because I want sympathy or anything like that. I’m just spelling it out.

Samantha did move to Maui. I still don’t know the words to say that would properly convey my feelings about this. I’m insanely proud of her and Orlando for just doing what their hearts told them to. Find new beginnings. Make new memories in new places without constant reminders of their pain. I know that a lot of people in my world don’t see it that way, but I think that being mad or upset with them for going is selfish and mean. They lost their baby. And for them every place they go here in Dallas sparks some memory made with Ethan before he passed. Which is comforting to some degree, but it just keeps the wound open just enough where it refuses to heal. They weren’t happy. There was pressure on them to have another baby. Again, not fair for anyone else to tell them that having another child would make them happy again. Ethan cannot be replaced. And implying that getting pregnant will fix everything is pretty much setting the groundwork for the thought that he could be replaced. That’s an unfair position to put them in. They will have another baby if and when the time is right for them. In the meantime, they’re enjoying their once in a lifetime opportunity to dive in headfirst. Do what feels right and live their lives for themselves. Sam and Orlando aren’t anybody’s parents. They owe nothing to anyone. So hostility about their choice to leave doesn’t set well with me. At all. And I won’t hear it. Yeah, I’m sad because Sam and I are really close. While moving to Hawaii with them sounds like a fantastic idea, truth be told I couldn’t even afford to have my car put on the ferry over there at this point. I have to get my crap together because the crap that I’ve allowed to weigh me down for so long is doing just that. Weighing me down. Making every move painful and stress filled. I had decided in my head to follow Sam and Orlando’s lead and do what I needed to do for me. But I guess the universe wasn’t aligned with my thought process and now I have to reevaluate. I guess certain things just weren’t meant to be right now.

Long story short…I’m proud of Samantha and Orlando for following their hearts. Taking the time to heal. Gaining distance from the pressures that only add stress to their already heavy hearts. Unfairly.

I asked last week for prayers for my friend BJ Reynolds. He was in bad shape. I won’t get into the specifics, but he had to be put into a coma and had brain swelling and a whole bunch of stuff that was awful. I went to the hospital last Tuesday to see him and it will forever be etched in my brain. I got a text saying that BJ passed away around 7:15 on Thursday night. That just so happened to be during the Concert for Kidd’s Kids. Bad timing to say the least. I called his dad immediately after I got the text just to hear his voice. I know he’s not OK. I know that he doesn’t care how sorry I am that I wasn’t there at the hospital when it happened. He told me the one thing that I’ve talked about not wanting to hear before. He’s in a better place. But it’s different this time. BJ really is in a better, pain free place. He’s struggled so much over the last 4 years and was living on life support, sustaining more brain damage every day. Had he been able to sustain his own life, he would have been a vegetable. He’s not that guy. So for the first time I truly do believe that he is in a better place. He will be missed by me and many others, but thank goodness BJ’s family has a super awesome support system to help lift them up. I’m so proud to be able to call BK, his dad Jerry, ad step-mom Kelly my friends. And as of last week, my two newest heroes.

Strength can be hard to find sometimes. Some of us can lie in bed for a week because we got dumped by a boyfriend of a month. Or because we didn’t get the promotion or pay raise at work. But to have to plan memorial services for your child is the ultimate in down. I’ve had to see my sister and brother-in-law do it. They both know how highly I hold them in regard. And now BJ’s parents fit in that same category. Jerry told me that he felt OK leaving the hospital when I was there visiting BJ in times past because he was my bud. If you don’t know BJ, here’s how I describe him. He’s kind of the brother I never had. We would call each other names and he took drunken videos of me saying inappropriate things. I didn’t worry about them because I trusted him 100%. I told Jerry and Kelly that I knew that if I had driven 45 minutes away to go out, got drunk, called BJ at 4AM and asked him to come pick me up 45 minutes away…he would do it. No questions asked. And he wouldn’t try to take advantage of my drunk lightweight ass. He was just that guy. Those kinds of people don’t cross my path very often. So I feel blessed to have been able to call him my friend and now I’m just as proud to call his parents my heroes.

Amber has been my rock through all of this.  And I know that’s been hard on her because we live so far away from each other. But she has been by my side, wiped my snot, dried my tears, and made me get up and do something. She wasn’t going to allow me to fall into the hole that I did when my Ethan passed away. I would do the same for her, but that’s always been me. I am a caretaker. I’ve not been one to allow anyone else to hold me up when all I wanted to do was fall. But I let it happen with her and I think that God is smiling down on her for being able to withstand my weight.

On a lighter note, what do you guys think of the show? Constructive words, please. What do you love about it? What could be better? Please don’t take this as an opportunity to be rude or hateful because I will just delete your post. Please give an honest answer of what you think needs to happen in order to keep KKITM alive in a fashion that Kidd would be proud to have his name on.

Thanks for reading.



  1. I truly believe you guys are doing exactly what Kidd would want. You all have been through so much and it can be such a daunting task but please know that the audience is behind you 100%. I have only been listening since September 2012 and I can tell you I have nothing but praise for all of you. You make me laugh out loud (and that includes the occasional snaugh - snort and laugh) so much so that my co-workers are worried that I may be suffering from brain damage (lack of breathing). Hang in there ... be strong and know that diamonds are formed from pressure and you guys are the best friends this girl has had to keep her days "looking up". A loyal listener from Northern Ontario Canada (Lively)

  2. I think you are all doing a wonderful job! Yes, I do miss hearing Kidd's voice each morning,but the flashbacks are awesome! I think he would be very proud of all of you. Keep up the good work! I look forward to listening to all of you for many years to come.

  3. I think y'all are doing a wonderful job. Kidd would be so very proud of you. I cannot imagine trying to continue a show of that magnitude while mourning your leader and friend. (But I don't love the Jenna side boob bit).

    1. I don't mean that negatively at all!

    2. I agree, don't like that bit at all either (said as constructively as possible).

    3. I have to agree. I was a bit surprised when I heard the latest side-boob bit when it suddenly had a "voice." I don't think I would've ever heard a bit like that with Kidd. However, I do believe y'all are doing a great job!!

  4. WOW Shanon, you've had your hands full lately. I'm so sorry about your friend's passing - right after Kidd's. I can't imagine your pain. :(

    I do love how y'all are pushing through the show and I think y'all are doing a great job! I also love that you bring Kidd back every day for throw backs, old memories, and repeating old stuff that y'all did. It helps ease us into the transition of KKITM without KK.

    Sending you BIG hugs - don't let the turkeys get you down sister! Life will get better - PROMISE.

  5. I think your description of having your fancy GPS taken away and having to navigate on your own is a very good description of what I hear happening on the show right now. While Kellie, Al, J-Si and Jenna have always provided top-notch radio gold, right now it feels like the flow is off. And it is, and that's okay. Kidd had a way of making the show flow seamlessly - and you guys are learning a new normal.

    I think what Kidd would want for each person during the show is to stay honest. He prided himself on you guys being real and not wacky radio DJs. Be honest that it is hard, be honest that you're tired of "sad face" (Which I laughed out loud when Kellie said that yesterday).

    You guys are doing great, and you'll find a new groove :-)


  6. So sorry for yet another loss in your life. And thanks for sharing all of that with us. (((Hugs))) I think you guys are all doing a great job with the show & Kidd would be proud. Of course we all miss him but mornings would just not be the same without all of you. I think ya'll continuing on is helping so many heal more than you all know. Just keep looking up....all of you! Much love, Cassie

  7. I think the show has been great. Kidd would be proud of each of you for carrying on and not giving up on the show, even though I'm sure it's hard to be there without him being present.

    Obviously losing Kidd had a much more personal, deeper affect on the team, but of course the family of listeners hurts too. Knowing we still get to hear all of your familiar voices every morning helps ease the pain a bit. It's been therapeutic, and the flashbacks allow me to continue laughing and shaking my head at Kidd.

    I believe Kidd has been with you guys every morning, and if he could tell us what he thought, I'm sure he'd say you've been AMAZING.

  8. You guys are doing great. This show has been my reason for getting up every morning for the last 4 years, and that hasn't changed. The flashbacks are fantastic. I really enjoy being able to hear some of the old stuff I never heard and still hear a little of Kidd each morning.
    It's the chemistry between y'all that drew me to the show, and the speed bumps are normal. It's still a great show and y'all will find your way, tuned on my radio each morning.
    (Looking forward to the new character bit, and some drunk news and big al random bits wouldn't hurt either.)

    1. Also make sure y'all still have a Kidd's Kids day so I can pay my yearly "morning show fee"!

  9. I've listened to KKITM for almost 10 years now and one of the things that I love most about the show is the fact that every "cast member" feels like a friend. I feel like I know each one of you. I hope that doesn't change as you all adjust to your new realities. Stay real and genuine. While I know you have to keep some things private, I hope that you all do not choose to guard yourselves and your private lives as you grieve. I would understand if you did but I hope that you don't. Keep in mind that longtime listeners like myself are also grieving. To an extent, we can relate to you. As I'm sure you all do sometimes, I find myself forgetting for just a split second that Kidd is gone. And of course, I remember almost immediately and I feel an instant sadness that I never knew I could feel for a person that I did not even know. So if one day you are just really, really missing Kidd, say it on the air. Some of us are probably feeling the same way. I've always found myself relating to each of you in one way or another and now we ALL share one thing in common and that is our love, longing and admiration for Kidd.

  10. The show is great and still special. Everyone is doing their best and that is all we can ask for. My daughter and I were talking about the show...guess we represent the 40's & 60's ages. Thought it would be fun to have a different 'guest' each week...a musician, comic, actor...someone to keep up the flow and introduce different types of interaction. Their previous interviews were awesome. I'm sure there are artists who have a week here or there to add to the mix. Love you guys...healing is a difficult process.

  11. Shanon, your words were beautiful and heartbreaking. I am so glad, well relieved actually, that you have someone with you during this time. You've endured so much loss in such a short time. I have wondered about you and how you were holding up.
    I am not sure about any ideas for the show.its still so soon. I am just happy to have yall on every morning, oddly it has been very comforting. Does it sound stalker-ish to say that I have been very sad about Kidds passing also? I know we all have to move on, but I really appreciate and enjoy the flashbacks of Kidd. Give us some time to adjust to his not being there. Most of his listeners have been with him for years and years. And I think we need a little more time to be able to hear some of his crazy hilarious clips from shows past. Thats probably my only request. Thanks for coming back to the show....all of you. And thanks for asking us for our thoughts too!!! (Let them know we'd like you on the show a little more too!) Thanku and please know you are in my prayers...Karen K.

  12. Shanon, Thank you for sharing your feelings. So sorry for your loss. I think the show is doing great. I guess I am getting used to the fact that KKITM signs off much earlier now. I don't know if that is the new normal for the show, just have to get used to the new normal. KKITM is my early wake up morning family!! God Bless you all!!

  13. Soon someone will take the lead....seems like everyone is being careful and cautious to not "lead" Time is what you all need....be patient with each other. Fortunately loyal listeners know the depth of your loss.

    Shannon, you are an amazing person...YOU need totake care of YOU...... this is the perfect time to concentrate on your growth as an individual....been a listener since eagle 97, not getting rid of me now!

  14. I'm still loving the show. Of course Kidd left a hole that will be difficult to fill and of course the show is different without him but he wasn't the only reason I listened. Sure there are more awkward silences now that Kidd would've filled. But that's to be expected. I'm definitely going to stick with the show because I know you guys will figure it out.
    As far as bits I do and don't like.
    I love Jenna's Side Boob. Kellie did a great job on the voice for it.
    Not a huge fan of Consuelo. The voice is funny but the actual material usually doesn't make me laugh.
    I'm also loving the Match Game. I think it can get a little slow while waiting for the cast members to ding but the funny answers make up for it.
    I also really like In the Car with Emma Kelly and look forward to more of those. I'm also looking forward to hearing more from and about Cason!
    I love the flashbacks too of course. My favorite is Kidd 2.0. I wasn't listening to the show back then so its all new material for me.
    I'd love to hear Caroline on the show more, although I know she has her own stuff going on so this might not be possible. She was hilarious and a natural. She definitely inherited her dad's gift for radio.
    Overall I just want to say that you guys are doing such a good job and I really admire the strength that each and every one of you exhibits by coming in to work every day. I know Kidd is proud of you!

  15. I'll say this Kidd was awesome. Listen to the show even though I have never liked the music on the station, if that tells you anything. As for the critisism Consuelo has to get new material and a way to be relevant to the show or cast. Side boob is good but like some of he other conversation are becoming a bit too adult? I remember that Kidd said something about being the show that the family could laugh and talk about together. I have no problem with a more adult show but you do run a risk of turning parents off and the more listeners the better. Just my thought.