Thursday, May 16, 2013

Pretty random, but makes me happy

I just have a few random thoughts I wanted to share. Nothing incredibly deep. Who needs though provoking crap all the time? Not I, said Shanon.

Don’t bother trying to purchase unless you want to buy it from someone. I checked it out over the weekend. It’s taken. Dang it. It would look way better if it were full of rainbows, unicorns, orange sherbert Push Ups, and pictures of me.

I am now officially that girl who wears a mouthpiece to bed at night. I guess I’m grinding the heck out of my teeth on the occasion that I sleep. It hurts. So I went to the WalMarts and got s Sleep Right mouthpiece. I’ve had it a week. I’ve already done some damage to it. I also use it during the day to help me stop licking my lips. The left side of my mouth cannot heal because I won’t leave it alone. I know that people probably talk about my nasty chapped mouth behind my back. They probably assume I have some kind of disease or something. I don’t. I think my stupid tongue is just hyperactive.

I used to be pretty tan. I saw myself in a picture and I thought to myself “Dang. Look how sun touched you were at this particular moment.” Now I’m porcelain. I would rather be pasty and porcelain than all wrinkled and dark. So I guess I will take it.

Is Avril Lavigne still with that Nickelback guy? I believe that if I walked into a room and they were both standing there, it would smell like mulch. And mayonnaise. And possibly even pickles. 

I took my speaker stand apart to fix it, but now I can’t put it back together. I spray-painted it so it would be pretty again. Spray painting is not one of my talents. I guess I sprayed too much on the pole, it dripped down, and made parts stick together. So I got out my tool belt and took it apart. At least some of it. I stripped the screws on the big part. The rest of it is in pieces in my living room. I am gonna go out on a limb and say that I have the screw driving intelligence of a 10 year old boy who just took the rotary telephone apart to see how it works and can’t get it back together. Or one of those people who refuses to read the instructions on building something and has all these “extra” parts in the end that were never meant to be extra. At all. And then the bunk beds collapse and you get blood everywhere. But at least you had some extra room to do activities for a few minutes.

I am officially the owner of a boat that is good for nothing but sitting on the trailer and possibly floating. I cannot swear to the floating part of it, but I assume. I have water skis and an inner tube that I’m happy to sell if anybody wants to buy them. Heck, I might even sell the good for nothing boat if someone wanted to buy it. My sister and brother in law are looking for someone to take over their lease over by SMU. And they are selling all of their stuff. Like couch, love seat, chair, area rug…everything. So holler at me if you need any water sporting gear or home stuff.

I’m now gonna go learn the words to Boats ‘N’ Hoes. Yes, I watched Step Brothers the other day. Stay golden, pony boy. And keep your man parts off of my drum set.

That’s the end of that story. 

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