Not so motivational motivational thoughts

I have a new DJ email...I thought of it myself AND it was available! YEA!

ComeDJForMe@gmail.com

I want to start DJing again. So email me to come DJ for you. 

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged and I think that’s been a good thing. I mean I’ve written about 5 blogs, but I’ve not posted them for reasons I will tell you all about in the weeks to come. I just need to form my words correctly.

I was watching the Masters over the weekend and the prodigy that is Jordan Spieth and I said out loud, “I bet that guy is a huge jerk.” I said this not knowing anything about him other than he’s 21, just won the Masters, is the 2^nd best in the world, and was raised as a rich kid. I’ve thought about my words every day since and I’m sick to my stomach about what an ass I am.

I had no right to say a word about Jordan because I know nothing about him. Come to find out, he says that his special needs sister inspires him. He’s supposed to be totally down to earth and shows gratitude for his God given gifts. So, I was wrong, yet I didn’t give the kid a chance because he’s talented and comes from the richest part of town around.

I’m ashamed of that for a lot of reasons. Mostly because of the kids in my life who could have picked up on that had they been around. Luckily, I said it to myself and I’m very careful to keep comments about others to myself in their company (as any adult with common sense should do), but I’m still ashamed. Since Jordan is from this area, I feel like I should apologize and admit to my harsh, judgmental mistake. I was wrong and as a mature person, I feel that it’s my responsibility to admit that.

A long time ago I wrote down a bunch of entries in my IDEA section of a notebook I keep. I was going to make a joke motivational CD. But then as I was sitting there in a serious situation, the jokes became not so funny. So I thought Hmmm. Maybe some of this can help people in some way. Therefore, with the return of my posts, I will share with you some of my entries.

-       GO WITH YOUR GUT. How is this motivational? I have no idea. It’s not, really. Maybe that’s the joke. Anyway, it’s cliché, but it’s true. If I had gone with my gut time and time again, I’d have saved so much time and energy and, honestly, money. My gut has told me many times that a person or situation was wrong, but I was too stupid or stubborn to listen. I’m gonna blame it on the brain tumor. That’s gone now, so no more excuses. Not again. ALWAYS go with your instinct.

-       KEEP A JOURNAL. Again, not motivational, but it is smart. It’s so insanely simple, but it does your mind so much good. Even if you end up writing a page and then burning it in the sink after…write stuff down. Here’s the beauty of your thoughts. No one has to know about them but you. The same goes with what you write. It’s like your brains chance to vomit with a pen. Truly cleansing and you don’t have to put it on someone else’s shoulders or (if you have trust issues), trust anyone else to keep it a secret.

-       PAY FOR STUFF WITH CASH. You get the point. This is not motivational. It’s just crap I’ve learned the hard way. Unless it’s a big buy like a car or a house, pay for it outright. If you can’t afford it, you don’t need it. Have a credit card on standby and use it minimally, but pay it off monthly. Don’t drown in debt because the new iWatch isn’t worth the stress. Or the interest rate on your credit card. I promise you.

-       SOCIAL MEDIA CAN EITHER BE GREAT OR IT CAN BE YOUR WORST ENEMY. USE IT WISELY. It’s beyond me how kids don’t get this by now. They’re so vulgar and stupid and mean on there. Adults are the same way. I can’t believe getting messages from grown adults who are just hateful for no reason. And you know what? I need to do a better job or replying to the nice people. There are way more nice folks out there than jerks and I appreciate all of you. I don’t spend nearly enough time commenting back on the positive messages, so I’m going to make an effort to start doing that. I think it will be good for my soul. If you can take the time to write to me, I can take the time to try and write back Just be patient, please.

-       CONFIDENCE SPEAKS VOLUMES IN A POSITIVE WAY. Arrogance is disgusting. Some might say there’s a fine line, but I don’t think so. I think it’s all in the way you treat others. A confident person is sure in themselves, but isn’t too good to treat others respectfully. They’re willing to give them a chance to prove who they are. Arrogant people, on the other hand, are just assholes. They decide without even knowing you who you are. They don’t give you the time of day. Maybe they’re threatened by you and cover up that weakness with seeming to be arrogant. Putting another person down to make yourself feel better is never a good look. In fact, it’s ignorant.

-       IT’S TRUE. An encounter with another person might just be one little speck in your day, but it could be a huge mark on their life. So treat it as such.

-       LIFE IS SCARY SOMETIMES. Don’t let that fear consume you, though, because you’ll regret it later. If you’re terrified of something, you don’t have to jump in and face it head on. I would never jump into a pool full of spiders. EVER. But I will never sit around and obsess over how much I dislike them, either. There’s too much life to live for that. So get out there and do it.

-       THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH CHASING YOUR DREAMS. Other people may fault you for it, but that’s on them. I’ve been called a snob before. It’s been said that I won’t do anything unless I’m paid to do it. My sister dealt with a lot when she and her husband decided to follow their hearts and move to Hawaii. Here’s the thing. Working for Kidd Kraddick was my dream and I made that dream come true. Kidd didn’t come looking for me. I had to practically call and beg the promotions director to even interview me because I wasn’t old enough to do club gigs when I first started. I did what I had to do, though, and thank God I did. To some I may just be a bragging right and I resent that. I know I’m way more than my role on the KKMS. However, Kidd, Kellie, Al, and now even J-Si have known me for a good part of my life. They’ve seen me at my best and my worst and loved me through it all. I’ve loved them back. I’m not ashamed to admit that Kellie has been and still is my hero. Mr. and Mrs. Rasberry have every reason not to support me because of my lifestyle, but you know what? They see past that. Jerry Rasberry texts to send his love. When Ethan passed away, who was there holding my hand when snot was dripping from my nose to my palm? Kellie Rasberry. Her brother Ryan, was there praying with my sister and me. That is the definition of love. That is family. I would not have that in my life if I hadn’t followed my dream. Kidd Kraddick will always be a legend in this business, but when I look at my cell phone, I will have a text message from him that says “Love U 2 Lady Shan Shan.” Others can fault me for extending my family if they want to, but I’m ok with that. You do what you have to in life, you know?

More to come later. Lots more, in fact. This is a start. I want to get life up and going again because I have a lot of life to live for. I’m starting the DJ thing again and I’m motivated to get my head together, so let’s do this. Blogs helped me so much before, so I’m going to start writing them again. I hope you’ll read and forgive me for dropping the ball. And think about it. What inspires or motivates you? Or what’s your dream? Are you treating other people the way that you would want to teach your kids to treat others? Life is short, people come and go, and regrets can suck. Keep that in mind when you wake up everyday…

Until next time.

Teaching our kids kindness

I can’t take credit for what is to follow because they are not my words. I can, however, tell you that it puts into words something that I was thinking about long and hard last night. I was sweeping the floor while the John Cena DVD was playing in the background. Yeah, John Cena, the WWE Superstar guy. It’s a DVD that goes beyond his time in the ring and tells about the other stuff that he’s passionate about in life. One of those things is taking advantage of his celebrity to bring joy and happiness into the lives of others. Yeah, maybe it takes a bit of arrogance to do this, but so be it. The fact of the matter is that after you have enough people ask for an autograph or picture with you, you know that you have put in the work to impact lives in some way. While it may just be you signing your name in your head, to the person you’re doing it for…it makes their day, week, month, year, or maybe even their life. Who knows?

John Cena has loads of money in the bank, nice cars, and a pretty girlfriend. You could consider him a success based on those things alone. I, however, don’t. I don’t consider a person successful until they are able to see what they have in their life and make the conscious decision to start giving back in some way. Whether it be through time, resources, funding…whatever. Giving back to help others reach success defines success. Being kind defines success. Any person can have a crap ton of cash in the bank, but if he almost runs me over because he’s drunk driving his douche car home to his douche pad, I’m not going to consider him successful. He’s thoughtless, careless, and needs an ass kicking.

We teach kids now days that it’s all about how fancy of a place we live in or how nice of a car we drive or how much money we have in the bank. I can’t deny that having all those things would be great, but in the end what does any of it matter if your heart is empty? If you are a miserable human being with nothing to give, what difference does your stupid giant “pad” make?

I’ve noticed that I do pay attention to the places I shop based on what I know of their community service efforts. I know that if I come into contact with a store manager who treats me like crap because I’m gay, I’m not going to shop at that store any more. If a store is known for being one of the most giving in the community, I’ll gladly pay a little extra there for a product than go to a place that doesn’t. Kindness really is what it’s all about. I hope that we can get that lesson back to the top of our minds and teach kids that THIS is what life really is all about…not the money, cars, and stuff…before it’s too late. With that being said, here’s the article that says what I wanted to say. They just say it better. Oh, and throw in some personal responsibility lesson teaching while you’re at it, too.

Never forget that kids take in things that you don’t think they do. They’re like little sponges…just soaking in your messages of good, bad, and everything in between. So why not make an effort of showing kindness so that you can at least try and say you did your part to produce a future generation of people who care? No video game is going to do that...at least not that I know of. I could very well be wrong. Even if it takes every bit of energy in your should to bite your hateful tongue and speak words of neutrality to lean towards kindness, hey...at least that's progress, right? We should all want our kids to be better than we are. I know I want my cat to be better than me. He's already way cuter and quieter, so we've got that down. Let's do this. Let's teach our kids kindness and the joy of giving back. 

      We Should Teach Our Children Kindness

Life is an adventure, a constant exploration of reality. As kids growing up we read wild fantasy novels and watch immaculate movies, all dreaming of one day going on our own adventure. Then we grow up and think the fantasies of our childhood were all made up. We have kids and teach them to say please and thank you. We have spouses and only get them presents on holidays. Then 40 years pass by, and the eight-year-old reading Harry Potter in his bedroom is long gone.

What if we created a new reality? Certainly we can’t create things like magic and dragons, but what if we created something greater than these things? As we tuck in our children at night, let’s tell them of an adventure greater than Harry Potter, greater than Star Wars, greater than anything a human being could ever describe in a story.

In terms of conventional advice, it is often wise for us to keep our desires in check. If we spend our entire lives chasing after infallible dreams, never content with where we are, we will only be miserable. As people we are told to accept ourselves for who we are, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. That is an incredibly beautiful and endearing sentiment to remember. Keeping that in mind will only lead to peace in your heart.

But that is not enough. At least, not for you. You were born for more.

You were born for more than a life of peace. Your heart was created for more than to simply beat in a straight, monotone line. Your heart craves adventure! It craves the greatest adventure a human being could ever set forth on.

It craves kindness.

It craves the constant struggle of acting on what is truly right, regardless of how it hurts yourself. It craves the creation of a world where humans do not act in their own self-interest, but in the interest of others.

And in many ways, this is the most difficult adventure a human being could ever set forth on. More difficult than slaying a mighty dragon, or even waging war against an evil empire! Kindness is a war of the mind, a war against the ego. This war cannot be illustrated. This war is only felt in the smallest moments, when the ego pounds away in the mind, begging us to do whatever is easiest and safest for ourselves.

And this war is different for every one of us, in every moment of our life. There are the tiny battles like incidental eye contact and a smile at strangers passing by, to the biggest battles such as revealing our most sincere feelings to those who matter most to us. Big or small, the most important battles of our lives will be battles of the heart. In the end our own joy will not be the only sole thing that matters, but the joy we give others. The feeling that rises within them when they see us, as if they are cared for, as if they are loved.

As our children grow up they may only want to be happy. But as we tuck in their covers and turn out the light, we will not tell them to search for happiness. We will tell them to search for kindness, to search for love.

We will tell them that they may never find enough, and that’s OK. Because in the end, we will not be remembered for our pleases and thank you’s (although they are certainly important), but our struggle to create something more.

Then we’ll fall asleep, floating along in this beautiful adventure we’ve created for ourselves.

50 Shades of Grey and fun germ facts

How do I know I'm OCD? When all I can think about during the playroom sexy time scenes of "50 Shades of Grey" is whether or not that piece of play equipment is new, gently used and dirty, gently used and sanitized, heavily used and dirty, or heavily used and sanitized.

My thoughts on “50 Shades of Gray.” I will say this. I didn’t read the book, so I had no idea what to expect other than to cringe. I mean honestly I’m kind of like a 13-year-old boy in the sense of not knowing what to do when body parts I shouldn’t see are on a big screen in a movie theater. Oh wait. Step back.

So, we get there early to get decent seats and eat. We walk into a totally empty theater and it’s like I hear “HALLELUKJAH!” singing as I pick comfy seats. I’m so happy! But then I notice all these women coming in with dudes by them. Hold on a minute…that’s not what we said we were doing. So I go back out and ask the theater lady. This rose is my movie ticket…is this the right theater? She says yes. So I say OK and go back in. Sit down. No biggie. Then more dudes. HUH? So, I go back out and ask the Enforcer, Rob. He says it’s the theater on the right and says a number. I guess I forgot the number because, again, I was convinced that I am in the correct damn theater. So on my way back in I stop and confront the dude sitting there. I’m like:

“Hey. Your food looks good.”

Him. “Thanks.”

Me: “You know you’re a guy, right?”

Him: “Yes.

Me: “You here for 50 Shades of Grey?”

Him: “Yes.”

Me: “For the KKMS?

Him: “No.”

Me: “Oh…”

His wife gives me the stank eye and I just stand there. Now what?

I slowly just walked away and felt like I had a tail between my legs like an idiot and watched the other men come in the theater. Little did I know that I was the idiot who went in the wrong theater. I was supposed to be in the theater with the big Kidd Kraddick Morning Show in front of it…they had to come and ask me to see the ticket I didn’t have, after I had already ordered our food and drinks, before I finally realized that Meagan was right all along and we were in the wrong theater.

So, we go to the right theater and luckily get seats. They didn’t save seats for THE SHANON. It’s OK. (That was sarcasm, people). Here’s my take on the movie.

First, no, I didn’t read the book. I’m more into writing. When I do read, it’s stuff like “Skinny B,” “Managing Your Mind,” and “Getting Nasty People Out Of Your Life” type of stuff. So I went in blind. I didn’t understand the connection between Christian and Anastasia. How does he “get” people if he doesn’t “do relationships?” It doesn’t make sense. He didn’t seem to be able to carry on any kind of relationship with anybody except for Anna. So how did he become a billionaire based on his theory of being such a people getter when he doesn’t even get himself?

Why was she so intrigued by him if she’s such a romantic? He’s like glass. Is it just the typical girl thing of wanting to change him? And if he claimed for it to be working so well, why did he shut down so suddenly? I don’t get it.

And OK. If Anastasia is such a romantic, why would she be willing to be one of just another number of women who have signed his contract? And why did she ask him to do what he did to make her finally say NO!?! Was it a test and he failed? I’m confused and I don’t think it’s meant to be that hard. Seriously. And why would someone of her naïve nature be willing to give into his lifestyle? It’s so extreme. If she’s an extremist, why would she punish him for being one? She’s a hypocrite.

Anyway, I did cringe enough to make my shoulders hurt and I went to the chiropractor yesterday. So I shouldn’t have had to put a heat pack on anything last night. But I did. I stayed through the whole movie because it was cool to see. I would love to be able to do the things that Christian did, but I’m not a billionaire. The soundtrack is probably a hundred times better than the movie, though. I will say that. I bought it on my way into work this morning. So buy it if you want some new music. The movie is entertaining and it might be better if I had read the book. I’m not sure. I’m curious to see what other people say about it over the weekend. In the meantime, that’s my opinion.

Now, onto fun germ talk.

Just some interesting stuff I was unaware of. Yes. Saving the planet is cool. But so is saving my life by not catching everyone else’s nastiness. Sorry if that’s selfish, but I’m a giver in most other ways of life. I don’t like these things anyway, so usually I just wipe my hands on my shirt or pants and move along. Why waste paper towels even? SO don’t go all environmentally nutso on me telling me I’m killing future generations by posting this. I encourage wiping your hands on your clothes. End of story. Having just paid $75 for a Tamiflu RX wasn’t fun. I did print out a $10 coupon, but what they don’t tell you is that the ID number on those things DOES NOT PRINT OUT usually. So if you go to print one of those, look at it before you leave the house. If the ID number didn’t print, write it on the coupon. Otherwise, it’s useless to you. Even though you’re paying more for insurance now, it’s covering less, so meds are really expensive. With that being said, get ready for this.

Using the Air Dryer

They might as well be called germ blowers: A recent study found that jet air dryers spread 27 times as many microbes as paper towels and nearly five times more bacteria than warm-air blowers, according to researchers from the U.K. Scientists found higher amounts of germs in the air around both types of dryers—they could still detect the bugs 15 minutes after use—than around paper towel dispensers. Your best bet: Grab a paper towel to dry off your mitts and head for the door ASAP to reduce your exposure to the swirling airborne bacteria.

Here’s some more germ news I didn’t know. Yesterday, I saw a mobile mattress sanitizer cleansing someone’s stuff in their driveway! I had no clue! Were they ridding it of bedbugs? I don’t know! But I had no idea such a service existed. It was loud as crap, but who knew! Not I, said me.

If you get bored at work or whatever, if you go to the Yahoo homepage, take some time to click around some of those random articles they post. It’s amazing the things you can learn! Seriously. I learned that there is such a thing as spending too long on the toilet, you can be too clean down there, and that drinking too much fluid can make you constipated. I thought it was supposed to help with that. WTH?? I need a colonoscopy, but I so don’t want one. I’m too young for that mess. I don’t want to know what the co-pay for those are. People always say, “What are you gonna do on spring break or whatever?” My answer is usually nothing because my body is like a walking disaster. My mom paid for me to go to Hawaii, so my next vacation will be to colonoscopy resort. Hopefully they at least have nice lighting and good music.

Oh, The Bachelor

The Bachelor. I’m hooked because of one person. POMEGRANITE ONION. I know she’ll never win. I know she was a producer’s pick. I know how this game is played and I know it’s people like me that are the reason they do it. I’m fine with being that person. Who wants a season of girls who will “be sad if they don’t get picked?” Rinse, lather, repeat? I want drunken girl who you think might fall over at any point! I’m ok with secret admirer going because if she’s willing to go hide in a room most of the night, she’s not got much to offer other than notes from a limo driver and crazy eyes. But pomegranate onion? Did you catch all of her crazy? Come on, did you? “He doesn’t even know any of those girls. Get rid of them and he’s got me.” Well guess what pomegranate onion? He doesn’t know you either! Oh man this girl is going to be the most interesting part of no lip bachelor season. Yoga girl might have been the cliffhanger last night, but come on. What’s gonna happen? She’s gonna cut him or something? No. She’s going to look at him, ask what she did wrong, and then either has to leave or he will ask her to stay. Big whoop. If she stays, all I care about is what pomegranate onion has to say about it. That’s it. She feels so powerful….cutting the onion and peeling the layers. I so wish they had skipped the dang hour long waste of a red carpet thing and gotten to the dang show already. I don’t know most of those people because I’m not a loyal follower. I’ll admit that. I don’t have the time or patience to follow these shows the way I probably should, so I’m clueless whom a lot of those interviews were with. I would have LOVED to have heard more talk about onion peeling and seen that woman refer to random production screens as onions even though they aren’t onions and be so delusional as to think that farmer boy knows her better than he knows any of the other women even though he doesn’t. He doesn’t know any of the women at all…that’s why last night the biggest thing he did was the first impression rose.

With all of that being said, pomegranate onion was the best decision producers made last night. I give farmer boy none of the credit for that. It would not have played out the way it did if it was up to him. As a producer person, I know how they think and how to keep people hanging on until the very last second and that wasn’t the doings of farmer boy. So well done, ABC. Not Chris Harrison or farmer boy. It could be all pomegranate onion lady and neither of you and I would be equally as content.

That is all. Oh, and maybe drunk lady, too.