Last nights episode of the Bachelorette was kind of boring,
but it was also eye opening. Kaitlyn might be polarizing, but from what I’ve
learned in my years in radio, it’s better for people to have some kind of
opinion of you than none at all. I think she’s accomplished that, right? Unfortunately, though, some people have too
much of an opinion and don’t know what to do with their thoughts. They’ve taken
to being flat out hateful to her when it’s totally unnecessary.
If there’s one thing you have to admit about Kaitlyn, she
owns her actions. Maybe she’s made some poor decisions…maybe not. She’s done
what was right for her at the time and not everyone agrees with those choices.
That’s fine. On the flip side, if Kaitlyn was a person who vowed to wait until marriage
to even kiss a man, would she get such hate? Isn’t it just as extreme to make a
lifelong commitment to a person not knowing if you have that connection with
them? At least she has the courage to face her mistake, to keep Nick around to
figure out if her feelings are just lust, and to finish this experiment the way
she agreed to finish it.
The Tweets and messages that were read on the episode last
night were downright sickening. People calling her a slut, whore, and wishing
death on her were shameful. These people aren’t saying anything to the people
on that show “Married at First Sight.” Those people don’t even know each other
when they make vows to one another in God’s house. Then, in the end, they can
commit what I’m told is the sin of divorce. They get MARRIED having no feelings
for one another beyond possible physical attraction, but that’s acceptable?
Even better, that’s more acceptable to a lot of people than two gay people who
have loved one another for however many years? I’d love to know how that makes
sense.
Beyond the moral ineptitude behind these thoughts goes the
basic message of bullying. How is it ok to say such things to anyone? None of
the people who sent those messages to Kaitlyn know her or what she’s feeling or
going through. If you think she’s a whore, then I guess you think that everyone
who’s ever been the Bachelor or Bachelorette is a whore because guess what?
They all do it! You just don’t always know what happens. You think they sit
there and sing lullabies in the fantasy suites? Why is Kaitlyn any worse than
any other person who has been on this show?
Even more, why isn’t Ian getting backlash for being a total
jackass? He had no right to say the things that he did right before he left the
show. His apology last night was nothing more than a big show and his attempt
to be the next Bachelor. Don’t you see it? He said that he should be the
Bachelor. What’s better than the guy who left looking like some huge jerk and
then came back, faced humiliation, and redeemed himself? I seriously hope that
no one fell for that nonsense. It was the most insincere act I’ve seen in a
while. Sickening.
It makes you think, though…if grown people feel that it’s
totally acceptable to say those things to another person on social media, how
can we possibly expect for kids to learn any differently? Why are such ignorant
people the ones (SOMETIMES) that are blessed with children? There are so many
types of bullying and I truly don’t think that we realize it before words come
out of our mouths or before we type them on our Twitter accounts or Facebook
pages.
One big thing that is on my mind right now…and it’s for
personal reasons that I wish I could detail, but I can’t…is the effect that
adults words and actions have on kids. In essence, adults being bullies to
kids. I know that it might not seem like a parent or mentor or family member
could or would be a bully to a kid, but I think that’s where we tend to go the
most wrong. Here’s why.
There are some statements that can be made that will stick
with a person forever. Here’s a personal one that I can share. When I was
younger, one horrible person who should be in an institution said that I needed
to watch my weight because I had a tendency to be fat. And now…here I am…an
adult…and I still remember those words like they were spoken yesterday. How
dare anyone speak to me or of me that way? Who has the right to put that
thought in my head? I hate to tell you this, but from the ages of like maybe
8-14, you’re really vulnerable to body image issues. Unless a doctor tells you
that your child is at risk for something, the only thing you should be telling
your child or teenager is to take care of their body because they are perfect
the way they are. Period. I vow to never refer to myself as fat around a child.
I will encourage health and not accuse them of being less than the best. You
know what? We could all be better. But who are you to be telling a kid that
they need to watch their weight because they have a tendency to be fat? Now
that I can, I say to you that you should go eff yourself.
I know that I was never the sharpest tool in the shed, but I
tried. I also will never forget the day that we had to learn to write the
cursive letter “F.” I think I about drove my mom insane. She never called me
stupid of anything, but I know she was frustrated. That’s another way that
parents bully their kids. Name-calling. Think about it before you call your
child stupid because they make a bad grade. Don’t say they’re a brat because
they throw a tantrum in the grocery store. Kids will be kids and if you can’t
deal with it, perhaps parenthood wasn’t meant for you. If you need to call a
name or two to your spouse at the end of the night, have at it. But don’t do it
to your kids face. Unless that’s the way you want them to grow up handling
other people.
There’s a lot to be said about the way you treat others
around your children. That’s how they learn to treat others. Think about it. If
I’m a 2-year old and I see my dad punch someone every time he meets them, what
am I going to do? Most likely punch people when I meet them. I’m screwed
because my daddy is violent. If you talk down to your significant other and
show no respect, where is your child going to learn respect? If you let the
trash pile up in your house because you’re too lazy to clean it, how is your
child going to learn hygienic responsibility? Do you see the trend?
You are setting the standard for future generations. So am
I. I’m around kids all the time. I spend most of my free time around three kids
that mean the world to me. I’m not talking out of turn with all of this. Life
is definitely a world of practicing what you preach. Respecting and showing
kindness isn’t that hard. If you can’t do that, at least being civil should
come somewhat easy. I’m not saying bow down and kiss everyone’s feet, but
tweeting someone and calling him or her a slut or whore and wishing them dead
because they admit to having made a mistake makes you no better than them. Check
your own morals before you cast contempt on someone else’s. I can almost
promise you that if you look into the mirror honestly, you have no room to look
down on another person.
And with that…I will now spell check.
