I know I suck at writing blogs these days. The truth is that
I haven’t been focused very well, so I’m hoping to get back on track. But until
I do, here’s a quick rundown of what’s been going on.
As those of you who watch KIDDTV have seen, I am not in the
studio with the crew anymore. Now I’m in Kellie’s old office. The studio has
been re-engineered to accommodate the TV part of the show. And since I am not
part of the Dish Nation cast, I don’t need to be in there. So I now run the
controls in Kellie’s room and go into the studio during breaks to set Kidd up
for what he needs. It’s freezing in that room. And it’s uncomfortable for me to
be away from the people I’ve worked so closely with since I was 17. But it’s
reality and I’m going to try and make the best of it. I’m going to attempt to
set up like a Google hangout type thing or YouTube live channel. Really all it
will be is me pushing buttons and talking to them through a glass wall when I
disagree or strongly agree with something. But maybe there’s an audience for
that. I don’t know, but I guess we will see. At least I didn’t get totally Ann
Curry’d and get fired.
Last weekend was greatness. My favorite people came into
town to spend it with me. Minus Keith. He couldn’t get on a flight. Amber was
here for the day on Friday. Christy and Alina were here Friday through Sunday.
I had enough fun to realize that my body can’t handle all that anymore. I’m
like a zombie the next day. That’s dumb. But I survived. Here’s the rundown. On
Friday, Amber and I went and picked up Christy and Alina from The W. We then
went to Kellie’s pre-birthday party at another hotel. From there we caught the
ambulance turned into a party bus with loud speakers and a stripper pole inside
to Al’s bar. I might need to have one of those electric fences put up around
the stage whenever we are there for that kind of party. I think I’m awesome. I
think that everyone wants to see me dance and pretend to perform the song that
Spindarella is playing. Maybe that’s true. Maybe it’s all in my head. I don’t
know. Regardless, I was up there as often as I could be and I loved every
single second of it. It was really a cool thing that Amber was able to come
down for the Spindarella show. When I think of the song “Push It,” I think of
her. So when that song came on, I made sure she was on stage and in a camera
shot where I could get her on the stage with Spindarella while she played her
song. Being there for that was so seriously cool for me. I’m glad we were able
to share it.
Saturday night I was the special guest at Gay Bingo. It’s
held the third Saturday of the month and proceeds benefit the Resource Center
of Dallas. Cool. I’m down with maybe drawing some people there to help charity.
And I got a few tickets to invite others along. Win win, right? The Bingo part
of the night was fun. They do games in patterns instead of having to fill up
the whole card. I guess having to get fewer numbers to win helps keep things
moving along. Well the game I was calling had no G’s. But when a G popped up
and Jenna Sky showed me the ball, I called it out. Oops! My bad! But then the audience started chanting “Jail,
jail, jail.” See, there’s a Gay Bingo jail on stage for people who don’t follow
rules. If you don’t stand up and say OOOOOHHHHH when O-69 is called out, you go
to jail. And someone has to pay $20 to get you out. But when I had to go to
jail, Jenna Sky seized the moment and said that it would be $1,000 to get me
out of jail. That’s 50 times what it usually is! So I sat there in jail for a
couple games and then thru intermission. And then times got tough. We were a couple
hundred dollars away and I wanted to go back and play Bingo, so I offered up my
DJ services to the person who paid what was left. That went quickly and now I’m
DJing Sammy’s wedding in October. Which is fine with me. But so much pressure!
Bingo is held at a place called The Rose Room. It’s a room
upstairs at the club that is aimed to bring in young gay boys who like to dance
with their shirts off and pretend to make babies in the corners. I get that I
am not their demo clientele. So after
Bingo was over, we left S4 and got our hands stamped to come back for the drag
show. Easy breezy. We left for a while and came back for the show. Get in no
problem. Go upstairs to the same room they had Bingo in. the same room my butt
sat in jail for ever to raise money for the Resource Center of Dallas. And that
‘s when it happened. The front of the room was pretty full. Every seat was
taken. The back of the room, on the other hand, was empty. Seriously every
chair in the back was open. So my friend Christy and I see about 50 empty
stools sitting there and decide to go grab some and bring them up. That was
apparently the worst, most offensively rude thing I could have done in the eyes
of one bartender. There was music playing at a loud volume and plenty of people
in the room. Yet I could still hear him screaming at me that I couldn’t take
the stools out of the back and who do I think I am and all this other
unnecessary stuff. Not just a “hey, you’re not supposed to do that.” He was
berating me. So I stopped and asked him why he was being so rude to me. His
reply was “why are you being so rude moving stools blah blah blah.” If I had
been told 12 times before that I couldn’t move the stool and still insisted on
doing it, MAYBE I could understand him getting loud with me. But I didn’t know
that it was such a catastrophe to MOVE A STUPID STOOL. I so wanted to get in
his face and tell him what I thought. I would’ve gotten kicked out. So what!
You don’t treat people that way! I hope that place slides downhill fast and none
of the bars with NICE people will hire them. It’s insanely expensive to get
into that place. Drinks are high. And now I can add that the staff treats you
like CRAP if they don’t want to get in your pants. This story has nothing to do
with Gay Bingo or the people who put that together. They are great. It’s the
jerkface coked out bartender upstairs who should be called out. And S4 for
hiring such a rude person to represent them. I went on the Caven website to email them
about this bartender, but there’s no contact for anyone other than the
reservation taker. Haha. What a joke. What goes around comes around…
Fast forward through last week to this weekend. I’ve had a
runny nose, cough, sinus headache, and all that mucus stuff this weekend. So
I’ve not done a whole lot. I did, however, go to church this morning to see my
friend Kelli sing with the band. They were awesome. And I really liked the
sermon about infidelity. Until the end. At the end the preacher said that wives
should consider themselves and not meeting their husbands needs as a reason for
him to go out and cheat. He said it’s like sending a starving person into a
field of food. It’s mans instinct to have his sex needs met. This is where the
preacher lost me. I guess I’m a strong advocate of personal responsibility.
Here’s the reality of it, preacher man. I can take 10 naked playboy playmates
to a man with the bluest balls ever and it would be HIS CHOICE to act on his
feelings. We all handle situations differently. But to ever blame any other
person on an act that you WILLINGLY do is wrong. What a cop out. I could sit
here and say “I did this because you made me feel….” Or a teenager could say “I
stole the car because you wouldn’t take me to the movies with my boyfriend.” And
I guess at the end of the day holding someone else responsible for our actions
does make accepting our actions much easier, but it’s so unfair to the person
you’re trying to blame. You didn’t have to steal the car because I wouldn’t let
you go to the movies alone with your boyfriend. You could have easily sat me
down and given me a list of reasons why you should be allowed to go. You could
have accepted the fact that it wasn’t going to happen this time, but maybe next
time. Heck, you could’ve just walked to the dang theater. But the path you
chose to take was the one that involved stealing, deceit, law breaking, risking
lives, and wasting the cop’s time when I called 911 because my kid and my car
were gone. Teenagers are going through growing pains and figuring out right and
wrong and trying to get what they want out of life. It’s their time to be
selfish and not give a crap about anything other than themselves. But a grown
ass man? And to hear the preacher stand on stage and say…out loud…that wives
need to meet their mans intimate needs and nurture their marriage in order to
keep him faithful is complete bologna to me. And then to tell the story of
David who cheated and had illegitimate babies and ordered the death of a
husband so that he could have the wife. And then in the same breath talk about
what a great man he was and how God will forgive any transgression. WTH? It
confuses me as to why we try and live a good, moral life if in the end we can
ask for forgiveness and then jet right up to Heaven. I want to believe in the
idea of Heaven so badly. I want to feel secure in the knowledge that my Ethan
is in Heaven with God watching over me. I want to believe that he heard my
prayer today while I sat in that pew. But at the same time I really don’t
understand it. And before I go any further, let me clarify that I DON’T WANT
ANYONE TO TRY AND EXPLAIN THIS TO ME. YOU HAVE YOUR BELIEFS AND I HAVE MINE.
I’M NOT KNOCKING RELIGION. AT ALL. I JUST HAVE SOME CONFUSION WITH IT. YOU CAN
DISAGREE WITH ME AND HATE ME OR WHATEVER. KEEP IT TO YOURSELF AND STOP READING
MY BLOGS. THAT’S OK. Now, moving on.
Gays aren’t allowed to get married in the state of Texas for a long list of
reasons. It destroys the sanctity of marriage. It doesn’t promote the growth of
the human existence. Homosexuality is a sin. But ho are the people here to
judge if I can sleep with all the girls I want to while I’m alive, but ask for
forgiveness on my deathbed? If God forgives me for that, why should
people…sinners…on earth be allowed to pass that judgment on me? I can promise you
this. My ability to commit and love is just as good as, if not stronger than,
and heterosexuals. So isn’t it sort of hypocritical for fellow sinners to judge
my sin as worse than theirs? Does this make sense? This is why I typically don’t
go to church. I think that a lot of the beliefs that are preached are pure hypocrisy.
And a hypocrite with a Bible in hand is no better than the hypocrite who sleeps
in on a Sunday. Whew. I feel better having typed that. Even if it only makes
sense to me.
So, now I turn on What Would Ryan Lochte Do. This sinner is
going to enjoy my life on earth while it’s given to me. And Ryan Lochte’s
ignorance makes my heart smile.
The end.
For one, I completely agree with you on the hypocrisy of church, in fact, I believe ministers preach their beliefs and lead others in a narrow minded way....called "religion" and sometimes do so to justify their own sins. (example: preachers wife doesn't give it up , preacher goes to mistress). I believe (as the bible says) the only judge is God but we must live by means of love. If you love a girl, that is LOVE so in that are you not being morally just? Lol everyone should be able to love whomever they choose as long as the partner is capable of returning it (so no child predator or animal lover's can justify).
ReplyDeleteHowever, away from church onto the show, I have always loved it...but since you weren't on it as much and then Dish Nation...it sucks. Everything seems so fake and forced. Its not funny anymore. Your true fans miss hearing you and seeing you daily. But keep up the hard work because they need you there! Much support, keep your head up!
I would watch you :) I don't think you get enough air time at all. As far as the church thing goes...honey I learned a long long time ago it isn't God in there. It is man interpreting God to suit him. My grandma used to say "No I don't go to church and I don't feel bad about it at all. I can talk to God wherever I am." She was a smart woman. I haven't been to church in 23 years. I stopped going when the "preacher" said a man sexually abuses a child it must be the wife's fault. I was also struggling with the fact I knew I was gay and it was drilled in my head I was going to hell for it. 23 years later I have an amazing wife of 12 years and three awesome kids and if I go to hell for that then so be it. :)
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