No water, but a DRIVE THRU SUBWAY?!?

I’m kind of a mess today. I cried and laughed. I tried to boost the spirits of others. I flipped people off and opened the door for others. I feel like I could easily slip into a melt down, but I’m trying not to. Here’s what’s on my screwed up, complicated female brain. I’m not feeling appreciated these days and it’s taking its toll. Ugh. I need my simple minded self to appear on occasion. Anyway, here goes.

I’m trying really hard to believe that great things happen to good people. Really hard. But I also want to believe that bad people get what’s coming to them. I have a list of bad people who don’t deserve the good that they’ve received. I will read that to Baby Jesus tonight before bed. If you want an idea of what actions bad people partake in, here are a few of them.

1.     They get arrested for possession of meth and cocaine.

2.     They accuse you of possessing the same qualities that they do. For example, a drug addict says that you, too, are an addict. Even though accused addict has never smoked a cigarette or done the pot. Lying to yourself about other people isn’t gonna get you anywhere. Instead it shows how fried your head is and how delusional you are.

3.     They use and abuse people and promise things that they have no intentions of delivering. Such as money borrowed. Or restitution. They say and text the words “I Love you,” but fail miserably at the act of love.

4.     They drag their kids into their mess. The absolute most shameful thing they could do. Sickening.

5.     They try and make you feel guilty for recognizing that they suck at life. And they continue to suck their enablers into their web of shame.

6.     They use their kids to get who and what they want.

7.     They murder or steal. They hit and run. They park in someone’s reserved parking spot, thus causing them to get a door ding. They leave their carts out in the parking lot of the supercenter on a windy day knowing it’s gonna hit someone else’s vehicle.

That’s my short list of bad things that horrible people do. None of this is personal to me. Allegedly.

Now onto the light hearted stuff.

I saw a Subway with a drive through today. BRILLIANT! Now you can eat fresh and not stink like body odor for the rest of the day. HOLLA!

I follow MTV Teen Mom 2 twitter posts. 9 out of 10 of them are about Janelle Evans. If her bad attitude and lack of human decency leads to the cancellation of this show, I will most def start a Janelle sucks fan club. With a message board. And email address like janelleevanssucksatlife@gmail.com. No. It would be Hotmail. Janelle doesn’t deserve gmail. I might even go so far as to do an AOL account. That can only be checked on dial up. Because I think that Janelle would have her DSL service cut off because she would spend all her money on crack whore boyfriends and lawyer fees. Or maybe NetZero. But her credit card would get declined when they went to auto charge her every month and that service would get shut off, too. Do you think she lives in the dark? Does she walk in the door and do a quick check to see if her lights got shut off? I’m guessing she does. Crack whore. Ugh.

I got a note on my door saying that my water would be off yesterday while they fixed a broken water line. So I was shocked to come home today and attempt to wash my hands. NOTE TO SELF. Start running the water BEFORE you squirt soap all over your hands. That sucked. Here are a few more things I’ve realized I cannot do now that I have no water.

-       Dig a well and fill it with a water hose

-       Flush the toilet…no matter what happens in it

-       Wash my George Foreman grill after making my grilled sandwich

-       Brush my teeth. Luckily I brushed them at 3:30 this morning, so I don’t really need to again, right?

-       Shave my legs because I can’t take a shower.

-       Wash my face because I have no water.

-       Wash my car because there’s no water.

-       Catch stray dogs and give them baths.

-       Bring homeless people here to get cleaned up.

-       Laundry. Let’s hope I have clean panties.

-       Fill up my Pur water container.

-       Fill up empty water bottles with sink water to reduce, reuse, and recycle.

-       Park in my reserved spot because there’s a giant hole in the ground where I normally park. That would leave a dent if I drove into it.

-       Make pasta.

-       Send containers of water to kids in Africa who don’t have clean water because that Koni guy is a drunk naked fraud.

-       Make large bags of ice to sell and, of course, donate that money to charity.

-       Wash fruits and vegetables. Or drink water by the liter like I normally do.

-       Do a neti pot to keep me from potentially drowning in my sinus drainage. If this sinus stuff kills me, the blood is on my apartment complexes hands.

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(I know I could go get bottles of water. Just go with me on this, people. It’s the principle.)

I automatically dismiss the thought of seeing any movie that Bruce Willis is in. Not gonna do it. He was rude to me before and I decided that I don’t want to fund his ego. And it also makes me question whether or not I should like those associated with him. Like Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher, Mila Kunis, and, of course, Kevin Bacon.

Tierra’s Eyebrows are following me on Twitter. Me and like 1,300 other people. Dang it.

Did the Kelly Clarkson and Jennifer Nettles “Duets” show get cancelled? If it did I’m gonna blame it on boring Robin Thicke and John Legend. Who wants to watch boring on TV?

I got the Justin Bieber acoustic album. I’m still pissed that we got left out of the movie, but maybe he will remember us…or ME…in the sequel. You should know that it was a download on a DJ site. I didn’t pay for it. It’s kind of my “suck it” to JB for being a junior DB at times.

I narrow all these Craigslist ads down to one that I can share. I will try again tomorrow though. Good night.